Hope and Growth

I'm not even sure what else to title this because as we spring forth in waiting this advent season, as snow falls afresh, and I reflect on a wonderful eleven days in my most beloved Colorado, my heart is filled with a peace and joy that I can do my job.

There is a saying that God uses us when we are at our weakest. This week as I miss Colorado, family and ponder "what the heck am I doing here?!" my heart has been softened. See, for six months I have been so self-absorbed, what do I need to do? How do I make a difference? How do I help them? Key word: I. I was cranky, too firm, unable to be charitable because I let myself be frozen by fears. I have never been confident in me, but since my conversion, I've always been confident in God. Somewhere in the last six months, I took over the wheel and took my confidence away from being placed in Him. Tuesday night I prayed with my whole heart for the first time in a while and Wednesday I was not dissapointed. God never, NEVER leaves us...he calls us, stretches us, and waits for us to return to him.

Even prior to my umpteenth prodigal son return, God was using me, He just allowed me to see small fruits yesterday. He opened the doors to speak about Him, to love the girls in guiding them closer to Him, to love them in apologizing for my crankiness the night before. And as a girl admitted how strongly my question "are you happy right now?" hit her, I am only too aware that it was not my genius that knew she needed that, but the Holy Spirit who chose me even in my most prideful state of mind.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the thousandth time I remind myself that He has called me here for a reason. And I have so much to learn about love, living in Him, and surrendering. I thought I grew on NET, but once again I find myself only at the beginning of the journey to our eternal home. How wonderfully divine that my refound desire to seek Him, my hunger for His presence in my life has begun this season of advent. I hope that your hearts lead you closer to Him this season as we wait for His coming.

Praying for you all,
Tracie