I'm not even sure what else to title this because as we spring forth in waiting this advent season, as snow falls afresh, and I reflect on a wonderful eleven days in my most beloved Colorado, my heart is filled with a peace and joy that I can do my job.
There is a saying that God uses us when we are at our weakest. This week as I miss Colorado, family and ponder "what the heck am I doing here?!" my heart has been softened. See, for six months I have been so self-absorbed, what do I need to do? How do I make a difference? How do I help them? Key word: I. I was cranky, too firm, unable to be charitable because I let myself be frozen by fears. I have never been confident in me, but since my conversion, I've always been confident in God. Somewhere in the last six months, I took over the wheel and took my confidence away from being placed in Him. Tuesday night I prayed with my whole heart for the first time in a while and Wednesday I was not dissapointed. God never, NEVER leaves us...he calls us, stretches us, and waits for us to return to him.
Even prior to my umpteenth prodigal son return, God was using me, He just allowed me to see small fruits yesterday. He opened the doors to speak about Him, to love the girls in guiding them closer to Him, to love them in apologizing for my crankiness the night before. And as a girl admitted how strongly my question "are you happy right now?" hit her, I am only too aware that it was not my genius that knew she needed that, but the Holy Spirit who chose me even in my most prideful state of mind.
Ladies and gentlemen, for the thousandth time I remind myself that He has called me here for a reason. And I have so much to learn about love, living in Him, and surrendering. I thought I grew on NET, but once again I find myself only at the beginning of the journey to our eternal home. How wonderfully divine that my refound desire to seek Him, my hunger for His presence in my life has begun this season of advent. I hope that your hearts lead you closer to Him this season as we wait for His coming.
Praying for you all,
Tracie
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Joy of Beauty
Isn't life funny? Full of ups and downs and laughs and sighs? I'm deciding to re-resolute myself to positive thinking...so despite having my fair share of struggles, there are multiple instances of the last few days that have given me extreme joy. Namely...it snowed last night! As a little girl in Apple Valley, in the rare cases of snow, for whatever reason, I'd always seem to wake up in the middle of the night, I'd peak outside, smile, throw on some shoes and in my pajamas sneak out the front door and dance in the drive way...thrusting my arms out to the side, putting my head in the air and spinning until my feet went numb. Then with a giant smile I'd walk back in the house, tuck myself in bed, and lay awake in perfect contentment of having experienced such a great adventure in my eight year old mind. Last night as I layed fitfully awake, I noticed that the rain had stopped pounding for some time. I walked to the back door, turned on the porch light, and my soul sparked alive at the white winterland that lay before me. So, in good tradition, I grabbed my flip flops and in shorts and a t-shirt walked outside and spun in the beauty that God graced us with. This morning I tried out Pascal's 4 wheel drive and went into the canyon to take photos. Of course, they don't capture the true magnificence, but here is a small taste of fall meeting winter:
And so as I have been struggling, I see this white world as an incredible gift, reaffirming my prayers to myself that God does love me, even in the midst of struggles. I never cease to be amazed that at the hardest moments in my life snow, in some way shape or form falls in my lap...indeed God's love language to me. And so, with that I leave you in hopes that in the midst of your struggles you can find joy in God's creation and hope that His love never fails!
Friday, October 21, 2011
His Grace is Enough
I'm not sure where to start except I need to write, not to one particular person, I guess to express the musings of my life, and not so much in a prayerful way, but in a reflection of how life really is out here, or rather how my emotions are seeing it.
Life in Wyoming is hard, there is a definite "fend for yourself, work hard sunup to down, compassion not in the dictionary" kind of atmosphere. I am fortunate in that at the ranch it is not quite this intense, but sometimes you feel it. It is easy to get lost in the beauty of the sunrise, literally a land rainbow, the sweat of the day (mentally and physically), and the hustle of closing the day. And out here, in a land captured by the rest of society in movies like The Horse Whisperer, which seems like a Hollywood fantasy, my life goes on day in, and day out. My point is that it is easy to forget the rest of the world exists, as if all a dream, pictures keep the memories alive.
This is not to say it is horrible, just very very very different. And so I suppose I'm in a place of some loneliness, what am I doing out here? "You duped me Oh Lord, and I let myself be duped." This verse has become the theme of our house. I guess as I grow (and they say I have), I feel less and less confident in my ability to do this, I see more and more areas I need to grow, and I'm becoming especially aware of deeper wounds and weaknesses that inhibit me on a daily basis. I am quite convinced that God has called me out here to work on these areas of my life, which is great and distressing. How can I call the girls out to be confident, when I'm drowning in my own fears and insecurities (one example)? I guess that is the beauty of relying on God's grace.
While I sing, cry, rejoice, mourn and experience a multitude of other emotions and battles a day, it is ultimately HIS work that is being done, and HIS grace that pulls me through each day, even if I don't see it. I've never had a harder job, and I pray that as it gets harder and the "dreaminess" of it wears off I can continue to desire to persevere, to love, be patient and trust His good works, for the easiest lie to fall into is discouragement - is it even worth it? My heart misses the life of normal society, of Colorado, regular weekends, social life outside of work. My heart rejoices in God's faithfulness to fill the deepest desires of our hearts, for as stated earlier, with great struggle, comes great joy, and with great joy comes a road to find Christ, and that is what being a Christian is all about. With that I am going to bed trusting His great grace and your prayers to continue to fulfill His will with great hope. With love from Why-O-Me-ing,
Tracie
Life in Wyoming is hard, there is a definite "fend for yourself, work hard sunup to down, compassion not in the dictionary" kind of atmosphere. I am fortunate in that at the ranch it is not quite this intense, but sometimes you feel it. It is easy to get lost in the beauty of the sunrise, literally a land rainbow, the sweat of the day (mentally and physically), and the hustle of closing the day. And out here, in a land captured by the rest of society in movies like The Horse Whisperer, which seems like a Hollywood fantasy, my life goes on day in, and day out. My point is that it is easy to forget the rest of the world exists, as if all a dream, pictures keep the memories alive.
This is not to say it is horrible, just very very very different. And so I suppose I'm in a place of some loneliness, what am I doing out here? "You duped me Oh Lord, and I let myself be duped." This verse has become the theme of our house. I guess as I grow (and they say I have), I feel less and less confident in my ability to do this, I see more and more areas I need to grow, and I'm becoming especially aware of deeper wounds and weaknesses that inhibit me on a daily basis. I am quite convinced that God has called me out here to work on these areas of my life, which is great and distressing. How can I call the girls out to be confident, when I'm drowning in my own fears and insecurities (one example)? I guess that is the beauty of relying on God's grace.
While I sing, cry, rejoice, mourn and experience a multitude of other emotions and battles a day, it is ultimately HIS work that is being done, and HIS grace that pulls me through each day, even if I don't see it. I've never had a harder job, and I pray that as it gets harder and the "dreaminess" of it wears off I can continue to desire to persevere, to love, be patient and trust His good works, for the easiest lie to fall into is discouragement - is it even worth it? My heart misses the life of normal society, of Colorado, regular weekends, social life outside of work. My heart rejoices in God's faithfulness to fill the deepest desires of our hearts, for as stated earlier, with great struggle, comes great joy, and with great joy comes a road to find Christ, and that is what being a Christian is all about. With that I am going to bed trusting His great grace and your prayers to continue to fulfill His will with great hope. With love from Why-O-Me-ing,
Tracie
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Fred and Dead
Fred and Dead....you might be wondering what on earth this is all about. Its quite a funny story actually, actually two stories completely unrelated, but told together make for a great blog title. Isn't that a sad reason to write a blog? I didn't think so either.
Fred. Where to start with Fred, he's cute, he's handsome, he has beautiful brown eyes, brown hair, cute ears, nose, and just sweetest voice and most delightful antics. I met him about two weeks ago as I was sitting on the couch reading a book. I heard a noise, looked all around and saw nothing, then a movement caught my eye, I did a double take, and low and behold I saw Fred. My heart melted. I met him briefly and have not seen him since. I hear him every now and then, and I know he is not a figment of my imagination...in fact, he is our newest roomate...a mouse! I do believe that Marie and I are the only two who view him as a cute roommate, except for when he is noisy at night or dies, most of them die in the walls and we get to smell the decomposition process for weeks. The other two just seem him as a pest. Fred's feelings get hurt by this, I'm sure! You don't have to laugh at my explanation of Fred, but I must say I am amused at this rather sophisticated if I do say so myself description of our little friend.
Dead: (noun) D - e - d. A noun used to describe the state of being that Tracie has wished to make every rattlesnake since learning of the beheading process. This morning I went for a little bareback ride on Rocky. On my drive home I saw a stick looking thing in the middle of the road. Upon getting out of my car to further inspect (one can always use a good hiking stick), I saw that the object was not a stick, but in fact a healthy size rattler...SCORE! So I hopped in my car to drive over and squish it. It slithered away from my tire. GAME ON! So I reversed, and rolled down my window, the rattle was shaking, but it was still stretched out. We played this dodge game three or four times before it finally coiled. I drove up next to it (coiled rattlers are much less intimidating from the safety of your car), took a picture with my phone (didn't have my camera), turned the wheel so I was centered over its body, crept forward and hit the gas! SCORE! But turning around it was still alive, slithering with guts out of its body mouth opening and closing, trying to bite its seemingly invisible monster. Ew. Fortunately this slower pace made it easier to roll over one more time, this time, aiming the tire for the skull. BINGO! I proudly drove home to tell Marie of my catch like a little kid who painted a (in their opinion) wonderful picture. We decided to go riding again and on the way cut off the rattler. Unfortunately, it squished off somewhere along the couple thousand pounds of steel driving over it. I have no souvenir of this occurance. Another sad fact, upon celebrating killing my first rattler (not the way I was hoping with a shovel), I realize that its not an entirely "approved" method. Bummer. Soon. Snake. meet. Tracie with shovel! BAM!
Funny, I guess Dead could have eaten Fred, but then he probably would eat us too!
Fred. Where to start with Fred, he's cute, he's handsome, he has beautiful brown eyes, brown hair, cute ears, nose, and just sweetest voice and most delightful antics. I met him about two weeks ago as I was sitting on the couch reading a book. I heard a noise, looked all around and saw nothing, then a movement caught my eye, I did a double take, and low and behold I saw Fred. My heart melted. I met him briefly and have not seen him since. I hear him every now and then, and I know he is not a figment of my imagination...in fact, he is our newest roomate...a mouse! I do believe that Marie and I are the only two who view him as a cute roommate, except for when he is noisy at night or dies, most of them die in the walls and we get to smell the decomposition process for weeks. The other two just seem him as a pest. Fred's feelings get hurt by this, I'm sure! You don't have to laugh at my explanation of Fred, but I must say I am amused at this rather sophisticated if I do say so myself description of our little friend.
Dead: (noun) D - e - d. A noun used to describe the state of being that Tracie has wished to make every rattlesnake since learning of the beheading process. This morning I went for a little bareback ride on Rocky. On my drive home I saw a stick looking thing in the middle of the road. Upon getting out of my car to further inspect (one can always use a good hiking stick), I saw that the object was not a stick, but in fact a healthy size rattler...SCORE! So I hopped in my car to drive over and squish it. It slithered away from my tire. GAME ON! So I reversed, and rolled down my window, the rattle was shaking, but it was still stretched out. We played this dodge game three or four times before it finally coiled. I drove up next to it (coiled rattlers are much less intimidating from the safety of your car), took a picture with my phone (didn't have my camera), turned the wheel so I was centered over its body, crept forward and hit the gas! SCORE! But turning around it was still alive, slithering with guts out of its body mouth opening and closing, trying to bite its seemingly invisible monster. Ew. Fortunately this slower pace made it easier to roll over one more time, this time, aiming the tire for the skull. BINGO! I proudly drove home to tell Marie of my catch like a little kid who painted a (in their opinion) wonderful picture. We decided to go riding again and on the way cut off the rattler. Unfortunately, it squished off somewhere along the couple thousand pounds of steel driving over it. I have no souvenir of this occurance. Another sad fact, upon celebrating killing my first rattler (not the way I was hoping with a shovel), I realize that its not an entirely "approved" method. Bummer. Soon. Snake. meet. Tracie with shovel! BAM!
Funny, I guess Dead could have eaten Fred, but then he probably would eat us too!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
You live in Clark when...
Yesterday at work, I was chuckling watching one of the girls walk Clark the goat up the road and I realized that in all the nearly five months I've been here I've hardly shared what a typical day is like or what the ranch is like, or anything of that nature. And so I'm taking the time this beautiful Friday afternoon (I really should be outside, but I'm procrastinating on paying bills). And as I update this Sunday cloudy, cold and rainy evening to share with you a little more about life in Wyoming. Kind of a "You live in Clark, WY when..." blog.
When I got here we had nineteen horses, Precious made twenty, two died and now we have eighteen, take away seven that we can't use because they are privately owned, too advanced, or lame (Polecat - Angie's, Rocky - crazy - my project horse, Nitro - spooky - Marie's project horse, Banjo - Angie's son's, Grease - lame, Brego - lame, Babe - lame), leaving us eleven that we can use with the girls...Cash, Precious, Flicka, Paco, Echo, Sable, Fuzzy (an obnoxious pony), Fancy, Peter, PepperJack (PJ), and Malachi. We have one goat, Clark, who is obnoxious, four dogs - Shrek (Shoo-Zit-Soo, I don't know how to technically spell it, who is really quite ugly), Faustina (St. Bernard), Zorro (Border Collie), and Coolie (Border Collie/Corgie mix). We have a herd of about twenty sheep that roam the property and three cats - Panther, Mario, and Peanut. You might be wondering what we do with a horse when it dies. Well, they go to the DAP - the Dead Animal Pit - a hole in the very back of the property that is essentially a carcass dumpster. Sad, funny, and true! We do find bear scat back there.
Things that commonly make me laugh when I'm at work are comments from the girls such as "do you want me to get acne?" when we don't give "enough" acne cream. There are at least two or three silly comments a day. I always laugh when an animal is being stubborn or obnoxious and wins any sort of battle with a girl (that could be mean of me, but hey! They are the ones who refuse to let themselves get run over...its great therapy to teach them assertiveness, to stand up for their lives and enforce their good decisions. Sometimes we played Charades (I taught them, they had never played before) and when they do their creativity can be quite entertaining. I really do love them dearly.
I must say though that despite that many opportunities to smile, there are many opportunities to practice patience, charity, kindness, and equality. There are times when you can only roll your eyes at their ridiculous behavious, and many times I ask myself "really?" It is getting easier to be strict, especially with behaviors like lying.
Well, that's enough about work. OH! And a few more job titles: Communication Corresponder, hygiene specialist, and wilderness guide. You also you know you live in Clark, WY, when going to town (Cody) is a 'big' day, you have mastered the fine art of dodging deer, need three different weather wardrobes a day (or drive five miles or wait five minutes), you find horses by your vehicle and initially afraid its a bear (see story below), you miss football even when you're not a football fan, dread winter because all your "fun" activities are no longer feasible, you watch four movies in a row on your day off and its a good day, and sometimes clean to entertain herself.
So...Kristin and I have had a wonderful weekend off together and came up with the above on our drive to town. Today on Movie #3 (Lyrics and Music) I was washing dishes and Kristin got up because she heard a "bump." All of a sudden I hear her exclaim "OH MY GOSH, there's a (pause) horse by our cars." I turn off the water and join her and low and behold...she was right! But there was not just a horse, there were FIVE horses. So I quickly throw on my boots, Kristin calls our property manager, and I grab four black trash bags (I couldn't find rope!). I tied two together and thrust them at Kristin and tied the other two for me. I walked up to the closest one and put my "rope" around its neck and started walking it back to the property. About thirty seconds later I turn around and they were all following us single file...a whole train of horses led by me in my thermals, shorts, cowboy boots, tank top and extra large plaid long sleeve shirt and a black plastic bag with Kristin laughing at the back. Where's a camera when you need one? Our property manager drove up and asked "where's your halter?" I replied "Who needs a halter when you have a plastic bag?" He couldn't argue that one!! We later found out that they were supposed to be out, but not by the cars. The whole things has given Kristin and I something to laugh at all evening.
And with that humorous story I'm leaving you with a little miracle story. Yesterday in town we got to go to confession, my penance was to pray to Our Mother to be infused with the knowledge of my loveableness by God. And so I did. That (last) night a storm rolled in and the heavy rain it sounded like a rushing river going to float our house away down the road. In all my excitement I wanted to see it, so I got out of bed, went to our back door, flipped on the porch light and opened the door, and there, solely on the porch it was snowing. Now, for those of you who know me well, you know that God's greatest love language to me is snow. What a beautiful way to have my prayer answered, in the silence of the night, by speaking so deeply to my heart. Gotta love a miracle, especially in Clark, WY!
When I got here we had nineteen horses, Precious made twenty, two died and now we have eighteen, take away seven that we can't use because they are privately owned, too advanced, or lame (Polecat - Angie's, Rocky - crazy - my project horse, Nitro - spooky - Marie's project horse, Banjo - Angie's son's, Grease - lame, Brego - lame, Babe - lame), leaving us eleven that we can use with the girls...Cash, Precious, Flicka, Paco, Echo, Sable, Fuzzy (an obnoxious pony), Fancy, Peter, PepperJack (PJ), and Malachi. We have one goat, Clark, who is obnoxious, four dogs - Shrek (Shoo-Zit-Soo, I don't know how to technically spell it, who is really quite ugly), Faustina (St. Bernard), Zorro (Border Collie), and Coolie (Border Collie/Corgie mix). We have a herd of about twenty sheep that roam the property and three cats - Panther, Mario, and Peanut. You might be wondering what we do with a horse when it dies. Well, they go to the DAP - the Dead Animal Pit - a hole in the very back of the property that is essentially a carcass dumpster. Sad, funny, and true! We do find bear scat back there.
Things that commonly make me laugh when I'm at work are comments from the girls such as "do you want me to get acne?" when we don't give "enough" acne cream. There are at least two or three silly comments a day. I always laugh when an animal is being stubborn or obnoxious and wins any sort of battle with a girl (that could be mean of me, but hey! They are the ones who refuse to let themselves get run over...its great therapy to teach them assertiveness, to stand up for their lives and enforce their good decisions. Sometimes we played Charades (I taught them, they had never played before) and when they do their creativity can be quite entertaining. I really do love them dearly.
I must say though that despite that many opportunities to smile, there are many opportunities to practice patience, charity, kindness, and equality. There are times when you can only roll your eyes at their ridiculous behavious, and many times I ask myself "really?" It is getting easier to be strict, especially with behaviors like lying.
Well, that's enough about work. OH! And a few more job titles: Communication Corresponder, hygiene specialist, and wilderness guide. You also you know you live in Clark, WY, when going to town (Cody) is a 'big' day, you have mastered the fine art of dodging deer, need three different weather wardrobes a day (or drive five miles or wait five minutes), you find horses by your vehicle and initially afraid its a bear (see story below), you miss football even when you're not a football fan, dread winter because all your "fun" activities are no longer feasible, you watch four movies in a row on your day off and its a good day, and sometimes clean to entertain herself.
So...Kristin and I have had a wonderful weekend off together and came up with the above on our drive to town. Today on Movie #3 (Lyrics and Music) I was washing dishes and Kristin got up because she heard a "bump." All of a sudden I hear her exclaim "OH MY GOSH, there's a (pause) horse by our cars." I turn off the water and join her and low and behold...she was right! But there was not just a horse, there were FIVE horses. So I quickly throw on my boots, Kristin calls our property manager, and I grab four black trash bags (I couldn't find rope!). I tied two together and thrust them at Kristin and tied the other two for me. I walked up to the closest one and put my "rope" around its neck and started walking it back to the property. About thirty seconds later I turn around and they were all following us single file...a whole train of horses led by me in my thermals, shorts, cowboy boots, tank top and extra large plaid long sleeve shirt and a black plastic bag with Kristin laughing at the back. Where's a camera when you need one? Our property manager drove up and asked "where's your halter?" I replied "Who needs a halter when you have a plastic bag?" He couldn't argue that one!! We later found out that they were supposed to be out, but not by the cars. The whole things has given Kristin and I something to laugh at all evening.
And with that humorous story I'm leaving you with a little miracle story. Yesterday in town we got to go to confession, my penance was to pray to Our Mother to be infused with the knowledge of my loveableness by God. And so I did. That (last) night a storm rolled in and the heavy rain it sounded like a rushing river going to float our house away down the road. In all my excitement I wanted to see it, so I got out of bed, went to our back door, flipped on the porch light and opened the door, and there, solely on the porch it was snowing. Now, for those of you who know me well, you know that God's greatest love language to me is snow. What a beautiful way to have my prayer answered, in the silence of the night, by speaking so deeply to my heart. Gotta love a miracle, especially in Clark, WY!
Friday, October 14, 2011
San Francisco
You never really realize how much you need a vacation until you get back from one and have an extra bounce in your step upon re-entering your crazy life. You also realize the level of need of a vacation when the whole trip seems surreal and a dream upon your return. I believe the pictures on my camera are my own personal proof that indeed, I took my first vacation since before NET. Let me tell you it was wonderful! It was also Megan and my first vacation together as sisters...I could not ask for a better sister to take such a trip with.
Well, Friday I had the whole evening to myself and after resigning myself to accepting the regret of denying a free $400 plane ticket to give up my seat I had a wonderful afternoon reading Narnia in the park (little kid's voices never sounded so sweet), going to adoration (which was a wonderful surprise when I walked in the Church...one man commented on how nice it was to see a young person...26 and still young...YES!), and eating In-N-Out while watching Shrek 2 for dinner. I picked Megan up and we talked nonstop until about 1 or 2 am, giving me the opportunity to experience that sisterly bonding that I have so longed for for so long.
Saturday morning we woke up relatively early (8am, sleeping in for me...9am Wyoming time...YES!) and drove to San Fran. I accomplished my 14 year old Bucketlist goal of driving over the Golden Gate Bridge and learned that its color is not red as I always presumed from Full House, but actually "International Orange"...trivia! Megan and I turned back around for breakfast and indulged in fresh crabcakes while watching the Pier 39 Sea Lion antics.
We walked up and down Fisherman's Warf before riding the Cable Car all the way to the end of its route. We shopped (and to see so many people and shops was not surprising in that I'd never seen it before, but surprising in that it had been 4 1/2 months since I'd seen such traffic and fashion and insane quantities of opportunities to shop! We quickly decided that it was too busy and headed back down to the Wharf to get Clam Chowder in a bread bowl and watch a lovely surprise. It was God's grace everything went so smoothly for at the stop we departed our trolley, there was a line about 50+ people long...it'd take forever! So we walked up a stop and Megan brilliantly noticed that they don't fill it up all the way to pick people up at the stops such as we were at. Two stops later our trolley was full. We forgot about our parking meter and rushed to refill it...Praise God no ticket! Riding on the outside of all the people made me feel like a celebrity because standby folks would take pictures as we drove up the roads, very cool!
So, we watched the Blue Angels perform while eating our soup and it was crazy awesome! We had to be at the wedding at 5:30, and we left at 3:30, just in the nick of time to get back, shower, throw on some make up and zoom to the service. Laura was beautiful and the hall gorgeous. It was weird seeing people from my freshman year...they'd be like "Tracie so good to see you!" and in my head I'd be thinking "what's your name, who are you?" Minor details, it was 8 years ago and a terrible time. Whatever, I'll probably never see them again.
And then we slept and I came home. My layover was in Denver...it was torturous being so close and so far from so many loved ones. Fortunately I only have to wait 5 weeks more and I can spend a healthy amount of time roaming the Mile High City! It was kind of hard getting myself pumped to return to a land of very limited civilzation, but now that I'm back my heart is again content in God's country. Thunder and lightning now! I am truly insanely blessed to live in such a remote area, to get paid to do what I love, to ride when I want and strive to make a difference. To have a job where you are ENCOURAGED to take a vacation every three months! Strange world eh?
Friday, October 7, 2011
Speaking of...
So many employers look at multi-tasking as a good thing to have. Well, my job has taken the term multi-tasking to a whole new level. So...speaking of multi tasking, I am nurse, vet-tech, teacher, counselor, evangelist, spiritual director, parent, and rancher, and many many more positions for the girls. Yesterday I was so grateful for my equine background in giving shots and taking care of a sick horse.
I'm about to leave to go to California, just wanted to share this brief thought with you. Also, speaking of winter on its way, today the mountain tops were dusted with snow! SO pretty, and crazy, winter is officially on its way, and its only a matter of weeks before I get to crunch through that fluffy white stuff that I love SO much!
Have a great weekend ya'll I'm going to cross the San Fran Bridge tomorrow!!
I'm about to leave to go to California, just wanted to share this brief thought with you. Also, speaking of winter on its way, today the mountain tops were dusted with snow! SO pretty, and crazy, winter is officially on its way, and its only a matter of weeks before I get to crunch through that fluffy white stuff that I love SO much!
Have a great weekend ya'll I'm going to cross the San Fran Bridge tomorrow!!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That
Well, as you probably are aware by the massive gap from the last blog I have been crazy busy, and the days that I haven't been I can hardly find the energy to muster a creative statement about my life. And more and more recently as I become more involved in work, it becomes challenging to find things of interest outside of work or non confidential things of work to share. And even more surprising is that you actually are interested in what I write here! And so as I can hardly recount the insanities of the last few weeks I am going to give a basic rundown:
1 - Cow death by grizzly less than a mile a way
2 - Grizzly sighting in canyon
3 - Warnings about Grizzlies!! (I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere wilderness here!)
I recently discovered that I like Thai despite hating spicy...go figure!
I barebacked Rocky (a horse) two feet bareback!
The more I 'scold' the girls, the more they claim to love me...interesting.
The more entertaining thing that I seem to find is that frequently at work in a quiet moment I'll write these blogs in my head, I have a whole story set out that I want to share with you, and then by the time I get to a computer to write (FOUR DAYS LATER!) I totally forget what had happened and lose heart to write. I think I might just start keeping a notebook to jot these random thoughts and copy them and leave the deciphering to ya'll!
OH YEAH! The snow at the top of the mountains still hasn't melted, making this the first official place I've lived with 24/7 snow. GOD IS SO GOOD! Truly, despite the difficulties that I don't care to share publicly I feel so blessed on a regular blessing with a healthy distribution of horses, teaching math (which I have a newfound love and excitement for...I LOVE tutoring the girls), playing games, being in charge and hiking...I continue to be convinced that indeed God has granted me my dream job.
Which reminds me, I will share this little reflection: As of late I have been quite joyful and happy and I was so confused as to how to live in joy, how to accept such a regular dosage of happiness when usually we walk this earth with more sorrow than joy. And then I remembered, God created us to be happy, not miserable, and so when we are living His will, living our VOCATION that is when we have this permanent sense of deeper joy, because we are fulfilling the cause for which we were created. It is due to the stings of sin and wounds of the devil that we suffer and then allowed to rejoice even more deeply through the glorious resurrection of Christ's cross. And so I think right now I am celebrating my life, which is truly glorifying His perfect love. Rejoice in the Lord Always!!
Friday I leave for California, and as I plan to drive to San Francisco with my sister Megan, and as it will be our first sisterly vacation, I am convinced there will be a whole world of stories to share. In the meantime, please keep our girls in your prayers, and my ability to say yes to God in the details in your prayers.
Love from Wyoming!
-Tracie
1 - Cow death by grizzly less than a mile a way
2 - Grizzly sighting in canyon
3 - Warnings about Grizzlies!! (I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere wilderness here!)
I recently discovered that I like Thai despite hating spicy...go figure!
I barebacked Rocky (a horse) two feet bareback!
The more I 'scold' the girls, the more they claim to love me...interesting.
The more entertaining thing that I seem to find is that frequently at work in a quiet moment I'll write these blogs in my head, I have a whole story set out that I want to share with you, and then by the time I get to a computer to write (FOUR DAYS LATER!) I totally forget what had happened and lose heart to write. I think I might just start keeping a notebook to jot these random thoughts and copy them and leave the deciphering to ya'll!
OH YEAH! The snow at the top of the mountains still hasn't melted, making this the first official place I've lived with 24/7 snow. GOD IS SO GOOD! Truly, despite the difficulties that I don't care to share publicly I feel so blessed on a regular blessing with a healthy distribution of horses, teaching math (which I have a newfound love and excitement for...I LOVE tutoring the girls), playing games, being in charge and hiking...I continue to be convinced that indeed God has granted me my dream job.
Which reminds me, I will share this little reflection: As of late I have been quite joyful and happy and I was so confused as to how to live in joy, how to accept such a regular dosage of happiness when usually we walk this earth with more sorrow than joy. And then I remembered, God created us to be happy, not miserable, and so when we are living His will, living our VOCATION that is when we have this permanent sense of deeper joy, because we are fulfilling the cause for which we were created. It is due to the stings of sin and wounds of the devil that we suffer and then allowed to rejoice even more deeply through the glorious resurrection of Christ's cross. And so I think right now I am celebrating my life, which is truly glorifying His perfect love. Rejoice in the Lord Always!!
Friday I leave for California, and as I plan to drive to San Francisco with my sister Megan, and as it will be our first sisterly vacation, I am convinced there will be a whole world of stories to share. In the meantime, please keep our girls in your prayers, and my ability to say yes to God in the details in your prayers.
Love from Wyoming!
-Tracie
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Boys, Boys, Boys and Pigs.
Haha, I am just smiling as I prepare to write this blog. SO much stinking fun! Last Saturday, so about a week and two days ago, I went with Katie, Rebecca and Marie to the Festival of Nations in Red Lodge, Montana. It was SO good to get out of the house and being there just brought lots of joy to my heart. It was full of Cajun, Bluegrass, Scottish, and all sorts of other music. They had dancing, dancing lessons, food, and just a good atmosphere. We ate ice cream and I had a GIANT turkey leg...I felt like Nick at Disneyland because he would always order those. Now you might be wondering what this has to do with boys. Well...I was asked to dance! I know! SO fun! There is just something about being asked to dance that makes a girl's heart smile. Turns out he lives in Cody and he asked all of us to dance. Thank goodness my mom put lots of extra effort into teaching me the basic steps and how to follow, I didn't make a complete fool of myself!
So the high of having had a social life for one night in three weeks has been my upbeat food for the rest of work (I've been working nights up, which means I basically pull many consecutive all nighters and sleep during the day. Last night I got to go out at night for the first time since my surgery nearly three weeks ago. Katie and I drove to Cody and went to adoration, then a coffee shop, met Amanda, and then we all went to Walmart and the rodeo. The rodeo was such a good one! The barrel racers were actually good, two bull riders stayed on for the full eight seconds, and one of the bulls rammed a bull fighter! Two horses reared and one horse nearly fell...it was crazy!
After the rodeo we headed to the Silver Dollar, which is a bar (kind of a sketch bar, but its where the younger crowd goes). Now let me preface this with something. I never, never get hit on, boys tend to avoid me like the plague and so engaging men in conversations is kind of a scary thing for me...especially in such a foreign environment as a bar! So, Katie and Amanda got a beer and I decided to stay with water. I did receive a little trouble for my choice, but I stayed strong, no chances for me. We went outside and were talking about something when low and behold we get approached by a guy and four shots, one for each of us and him. I declined the shot and we chatted for a little while. Well, God bless him, but he was a little...well...to put it nicely...out there. So we went inside and sat next to a guy all alone. He was hilarious (and drunk), but got strange guy away for us. It was rather unfortunate that I wasn't drinking, because I believe Katie and Amanda only bought one drink the entire night (the rest were bought for them)...CRAZY! Well, John (shot man) came back and when the other two were distracted asked me if I was single. I couldn't lie! And then I got asked out on a date. It was all I could do to maintain my composure and not laugh. I kindly replied that I was enjoying the single life (which is partially true, but I was NOT interested in him). He persisted to ask me out to dinner. I kind of mumbled something while he continued with that he was leaving on Sunday for two weeks. I lied at that point and said I had work. How was I supposed to respond? Sorry to hear that? You know Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice...yeah...definitely not for me. THEN he proceeded to pursue Katie. SO NOT OKAY!
The rest of the night I ended up in a great conversation with a guy named Cody, and we ended up staying until closing time. Katie is great at bar ministry and I learned something new about my feminity and faith. I have such a great opportunity as a young (pretty good looking) female to witness to these frequent bar visitors. With Cody I found God's grace really pouring out on me (and his drunken-ness I'm sure helping him answer), but to pursue WHO he was past the walls, to see the BS, and persist beyond it, and not in a preachy way was something that has really stuck with me. I don't want to go every night, but for the first time in my life I started to see the bar environment as a place to meet new people rather than just a place where people get blankenly drunk and sleep around. And my confidence grew immensely in my own abilities to socialize in such a foreign environment. What really surprised me was that I had fun, and was comfortable, and it didn't matter if it was just us girls, or if we chatted with others. I didn't care. I must be growing up.
Oh yeah, it probably helped that we were close to the only ladies in there that night.
A few nights later we went to a bar between Belfry and Red Lodge that has pig races! Speaking of random midwest entertainment. We didn't bet, but we had fun watching the little rascals run to the finish where they were rewarded with pig weed. Yes, it does exist! We had dinner, shared our stories, and on the way home stopped at a local bar in Belfry. REALLY local, like only the locals go to. It was kind of awkward, but nice. They had a live band, and pool tables.
It was on the way home that I realized a little deeper the culture I've immersed myself in. The west is not a fantasy Hollywood-ized culture. It exists, it is real, and because the area is so remote, and I'm not sure why, but there are a LOT of alcholics here. It is sad. Don't worry, I won't be taking that route, but my heart has gone out to all these folks who just don't know any better.
So here is my start to learning bar ministry, to entering the end of tourist season and really immersing myself in the local culture of the west. Lower prices, fewer people, no more rodeos. Cheers!
So the high of having had a social life for one night in three weeks has been my upbeat food for the rest of work (I've been working nights up, which means I basically pull many consecutive all nighters and sleep during the day. Last night I got to go out at night for the first time since my surgery nearly three weeks ago. Katie and I drove to Cody and went to adoration, then a coffee shop, met Amanda, and then we all went to Walmart and the rodeo. The rodeo was such a good one! The barrel racers were actually good, two bull riders stayed on for the full eight seconds, and one of the bulls rammed a bull fighter! Two horses reared and one horse nearly fell...it was crazy!
After the rodeo we headed to the Silver Dollar, which is a bar (kind of a sketch bar, but its where the younger crowd goes). Now let me preface this with something. I never, never get hit on, boys tend to avoid me like the plague and so engaging men in conversations is kind of a scary thing for me...especially in such a foreign environment as a bar! So, Katie and Amanda got a beer and I decided to stay with water. I did receive a little trouble for my choice, but I stayed strong, no chances for me. We went outside and were talking about something when low and behold we get approached by a guy and four shots, one for each of us and him. I declined the shot and we chatted for a little while. Well, God bless him, but he was a little...well...to put it nicely...out there. So we went inside and sat next to a guy all alone. He was hilarious (and drunk), but got strange guy away for us. It was rather unfortunate that I wasn't drinking, because I believe Katie and Amanda only bought one drink the entire night (the rest were bought for them)...CRAZY! Well, John (shot man) came back and when the other two were distracted asked me if I was single. I couldn't lie! And then I got asked out on a date. It was all I could do to maintain my composure and not laugh. I kindly replied that I was enjoying the single life (which is partially true, but I was NOT interested in him). He persisted to ask me out to dinner. I kind of mumbled something while he continued with that he was leaving on Sunday for two weeks. I lied at that point and said I had work. How was I supposed to respond? Sorry to hear that? You know Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice...yeah...definitely not for me. THEN he proceeded to pursue Katie. SO NOT OKAY!
The rest of the night I ended up in a great conversation with a guy named Cody, and we ended up staying until closing time. Katie is great at bar ministry and I learned something new about my feminity and faith. I have such a great opportunity as a young (pretty good looking) female to witness to these frequent bar visitors. With Cody I found God's grace really pouring out on me (and his drunken-ness I'm sure helping him answer), but to pursue WHO he was past the walls, to see the BS, and persist beyond it, and not in a preachy way was something that has really stuck with me. I don't want to go every night, but for the first time in my life I started to see the bar environment as a place to meet new people rather than just a place where people get blankenly drunk and sleep around. And my confidence grew immensely in my own abilities to socialize in such a foreign environment. What really surprised me was that I had fun, and was comfortable, and it didn't matter if it was just us girls, or if we chatted with others. I didn't care. I must be growing up.
Oh yeah, it probably helped that we were close to the only ladies in there that night.
A few nights later we went to a bar between Belfry and Red Lodge that has pig races! Speaking of random midwest entertainment. We didn't bet, but we had fun watching the little rascals run to the finish where they were rewarded with pig weed. Yes, it does exist! We had dinner, shared our stories, and on the way home stopped at a local bar in Belfry. REALLY local, like only the locals go to. It was kind of awkward, but nice. They had a live band, and pool tables.
It was on the way home that I realized a little deeper the culture I've immersed myself in. The west is not a fantasy Hollywood-ized culture. It exists, it is real, and because the area is so remote, and I'm not sure why, but there are a LOT of alcholics here. It is sad. Don't worry, I won't be taking that route, but my heart has gone out to all these folks who just don't know any better.
So here is my start to learning bar ministry, to entering the end of tourist season and really immersing myself in the local culture of the west. Lower prices, fewer people, no more rodeos. Cheers!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Hollywood, Hospitals and Broccoli...oh my!
Two weeks have come and gone and I finally am ready to attempt to dive into "hospital stays according to Tracie." Now I don't know how many of ya'll have ever stayed in a hospital before, but it is not exactly a five star hotel and not a place that I would consider restful. They say that the best way to heal is getting lots of rest and sleep. I think I've done more healing at home then the "healing place"...strange.
Have you ever noticed in movies how comfortable patients look in hospital scenes? Well rested, mostly smiling, etc? I feel deceived that hospitals are not as pleasant as portrayed on TV. In fact they are a reason in and of themselves to stay as healthy as possible, and a great motivation to eat more vegetables, fruit and exercise more. I've always thought of hospitals as a comfortable place to rest and recover. Wrong. Since returning (and before then too I suppose, but especially since then) I've learned that rest is not necessarily staying still...one can go white water rafting, horseback riding, and hiking in one day, get home feeling completely exhausted, but rested. Vice versa, one can lay on the couch all day sitting in front of the computer, or watching movies and at the end of the day not feel rested at all. I make this point because laying in the hospital bed was not an experience I would have considered restful. First off you have the machines beeping whenever your IV bag is empty and the nurses who refuse to come fix it for at least ten minutes. Then you have the every two hours vital recording (blood pressure, temperature, etc). When you make it through the day laying there (unable to move really due to the pain) and finally try to sleep, one of the above happens, or you have to use the restroom (which is a forty five minute ordeal of humiliation). Once that is over, you finally start to close your eyes again and your foot or something falls asleep keeping you awake. Sometime around the hours of two or three am you fall asleep and at 6 am you are woken up for a blood draw. Well, the agony of the pokes forbid you to fall asleep again. If you manage to, you'll only be woken up a half hour later to try to eat jello which is disgusting anyways.
I always thought it'd be kind of fun to be a patient, to be fussed over, attentively have every need met...I learned the hard way that this is another Hollywood-ized idea. I was blessed the first day and a half with wonderful nurses who really helped me in my nausea and pain, and were quick to respond to my needs and patient in listening to my slurring and uncoherance. After that I started to feel like a nuissance. One can not fully explain the struggle of needing assistance getting to and leaving the restroom, of not being able to position yourself comfortably in bed and feeling like a burden whenever you hit that button for help. I learned a lot of humility (help in getting dressed, taking a shower, everything) those few days that felt like an eternity. I am forever grateful for the flowers, care packages and visitors that came for they alone were reprieve from my experience as a patient. I one time only experience I hope!
Moving forward, I went to my follow up appointment last week and got the A-Okay to resume a normal life. WAHOO! I am doing much better, with the wounds healing nicely. I've returned to work and am so glad to have purpose to my days again! I don't have much else to share for now related to hospitals, I'm closing this blog and leaving it all behind. To push me into post "I don't have an appendix" life I am going to share with you my very first time cooking a broccoli.
So, I've never cooked a broccoli before (as obviously stated by first time cooking a broccoli) and I bought some at the store in an attempt to eat fresher and healthier, hospital avoidance and all, :). Marie told me it was easy, just put some water in a pan, cover with a lid, let it steam, and cut off mushy part. Simple right? Lets just say I forgot to ask for how long to let it cook. So I found my own way.
1. Boil a little water.
2. Insert broccoli, cover.
3. Facebook, forget broccoli
4. Smell air, what smells good? Oh yeah!
5. Check broccoli. Is it done? Eh, few more minutes can't hurt
6. Resume facebook, forget broccoli again.
7. Smell air, what is burning? OH CRAP!
8. Look in pot, see all water gone, hear sizzling
9. Quickly toss broccoli on plate, throw pan in water
10. Sprinkle with cheese and seasoning
11. Watch movie and enjoy, relieved house is not burned.
I learn by trial and error, but it was quite good...first broccoli, next steak...maybe.
Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Have you ever noticed in movies how comfortable patients look in hospital scenes? Well rested, mostly smiling, etc? I feel deceived that hospitals are not as pleasant as portrayed on TV. In fact they are a reason in and of themselves to stay as healthy as possible, and a great motivation to eat more vegetables, fruit and exercise more. I've always thought of hospitals as a comfortable place to rest and recover. Wrong. Since returning (and before then too I suppose, but especially since then) I've learned that rest is not necessarily staying still...one can go white water rafting, horseback riding, and hiking in one day, get home feeling completely exhausted, but rested. Vice versa, one can lay on the couch all day sitting in front of the computer, or watching movies and at the end of the day not feel rested at all. I make this point because laying in the hospital bed was not an experience I would have considered restful. First off you have the machines beeping whenever your IV bag is empty and the nurses who refuse to come fix it for at least ten minutes. Then you have the every two hours vital recording (blood pressure, temperature, etc). When you make it through the day laying there (unable to move really due to the pain) and finally try to sleep, one of the above happens, or you have to use the restroom (which is a forty five minute ordeal of humiliation). Once that is over, you finally start to close your eyes again and your foot or something falls asleep keeping you awake. Sometime around the hours of two or three am you fall asleep and at 6 am you are woken up for a blood draw. Well, the agony of the pokes forbid you to fall asleep again. If you manage to, you'll only be woken up a half hour later to try to eat jello which is disgusting anyways.
I always thought it'd be kind of fun to be a patient, to be fussed over, attentively have every need met...I learned the hard way that this is another Hollywood-ized idea. I was blessed the first day and a half with wonderful nurses who really helped me in my nausea and pain, and were quick to respond to my needs and patient in listening to my slurring and uncoherance. After that I started to feel like a nuissance. One can not fully explain the struggle of needing assistance getting to and leaving the restroom, of not being able to position yourself comfortably in bed and feeling like a burden whenever you hit that button for help. I learned a lot of humility (help in getting dressed, taking a shower, everything) those few days that felt like an eternity. I am forever grateful for the flowers, care packages and visitors that came for they alone were reprieve from my experience as a patient. I one time only experience I hope!
Moving forward, I went to my follow up appointment last week and got the A-Okay to resume a normal life. WAHOO! I am doing much better, with the wounds healing nicely. I've returned to work and am so glad to have purpose to my days again! I don't have much else to share for now related to hospitals, I'm closing this blog and leaving it all behind. To push me into post "I don't have an appendix" life I am going to share with you my very first time cooking a broccoli.
So, I've never cooked a broccoli before (as obviously stated by first time cooking a broccoli) and I bought some at the store in an attempt to eat fresher and healthier, hospital avoidance and all, :). Marie told me it was easy, just put some water in a pan, cover with a lid, let it steam, and cut off mushy part. Simple right? Lets just say I forgot to ask for how long to let it cook. So I found my own way.
1. Boil a little water.
2. Insert broccoli, cover.
3. Facebook, forget broccoli
4. Smell air, what smells good? Oh yeah!
5. Check broccoli. Is it done? Eh, few more minutes can't hurt
6. Resume facebook, forget broccoli again.
7. Smell air, what is burning? OH CRAP!
8. Look in pot, see all water gone, hear sizzling
9. Quickly toss broccoli on plate, throw pan in water
10. Sprinkle with cheese and seasoning
11. Watch movie and enjoy, relieved house is not burned.
I learn by trial and error, but it was quite good...first broccoli, next steak...maybe.
Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Honeydew and Deer
I know, I seriously have to get more creative with my blog titles, but I'd rather put my energy into typing to all you crazy readers who actually enjoy reading about my life.
Why I love living in Wyoming: Opening this webpage to write this blog, looking up to think of a title, eating a piece of honeydew and seeing a doe meander across the backyard wilderness. Truly, can my life get any better?? At this moment, with my feet propped, the sun setting and the beautiful mountains as a backdrop, I don't think so.
Today has been a successful day, I got an A+ at my doctor follow up with permission to go back to work, bought my first honeydew which is absolutely perfect ripeness (giving myself a pat on the back for that one), AND rode Precious for the first time in a year. That in and of itself makes it a great day!
And the real reason for this blog is to share with you all my idioticy in not thinking ahead. Growing up we always had an ice machine on the freezer, so I never really learned the ins and outs of an ice tray. In my head it made sense that when one is empty, fill it up, put it on the bottom and put frozen one on top. Well, the problem with this theory is that the top one freezes to the bottom one, and THEN you have the issue of separating them without breaking the tray. Answer: hot water. Still not sure how to avoid it in the future, but hey that's what life is all about, create a problem and solve it!
And perhaps tomorrow I shall write more details for now a grand adventure with Pirates of the Carribean and Honeydew awaits me! Ahoy!
Why I love living in Wyoming: Opening this webpage to write this blog, looking up to think of a title, eating a piece of honeydew and seeing a doe meander across the backyard wilderness. Truly, can my life get any better?? At this moment, with my feet propped, the sun setting and the beautiful mountains as a backdrop, I don't think so.
Today has been a successful day, I got an A+ at my doctor follow up with permission to go back to work, bought my first honeydew which is absolutely perfect ripeness (giving myself a pat on the back for that one), AND rode Precious for the first time in a year. That in and of itself makes it a great day!
And the real reason for this blog is to share with you all my idioticy in not thinking ahead. Growing up we always had an ice machine on the freezer, so I never really learned the ins and outs of an ice tray. In my head it made sense that when one is empty, fill it up, put it on the bottom and put frozen one on top. Well, the problem with this theory is that the top one freezes to the bottom one, and THEN you have the issue of separating them without breaking the tray. Answer: hot water. Still not sure how to avoid it in the future, but hey that's what life is all about, create a problem and solve it!
And perhaps tomorrow I shall write more details for now a grand adventure with Pirates of the Carribean and Honeydew awaits me! Ahoy!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
One More Day
I'm going to do my best to write while I can before a wave of nausea makes me quit.
I guess one could say a theme of my life is "Go big or go home." If you are going to get appendicitis, might as well make sure you have gangrene, be in the middle of nowhere, WY, and do it during the busiest time at work. Right?? Right. I won't lie, despair has been a convicting companion through it all, but hope, light and joy are breaking through the darkness.
As I have been told, and believe myself I have a gift for finding good even in the darkest times and so I would like to share with you some of these good things/wonderings of my brain. Despite no longer possessing an appendix inside my body, I still have an Appendix right down the road. (Appendix is the breed of 1/2 Quarter Horse, 1/2 Thoroughbred). The cute male nurse in the ER must have thought I was crazy when every time he asked what kind of horse I had I kept answering "Appendix". Given, he didn't know what an appendix was (other than an organ), I can only imagine his thought process being along the lines of "yes, you are here to remove your appendix, but we aren't talking about that." So who would have thought of all the great fun jokes I can come up with between Precious and this? My appendix became a horse, my appendix lives on greener pastures now...Haha.
I have also wondered in my long hours in silence/alone-ness what on earth the purpose of such an organ that has no function but can kill you if infected is. The only explanation I could come up with is something like a protein, protein builds muscle, makes us stronger and we all know the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." If you get appendicitis it'll do one of two things: kill you or make you stronger. I've decided that your appendix is there for that little test that only 10% of the nation has to take. I'm pleased to announce that I have passed!
I was going to write a whole long entry on my experience of the hospital, but as I look back its all pretty fuzzy. I experienced morphine and all sorts of other fun narcotics for the first time. In all honesty, I hated it, I can not understand why people become addicted, besides eliminating the most horrific pain after surgery, it is a most gruesome drug. Yes, the hospital run down shall be for another day. In the meantime, while praying I wrote this little snippet while killing despair and searching for hope; I hope you like it. In realizing how lucky I am to have gotten off this easy, despite it being difficult, I really have no room to complain. No room at all. I could have cancer, my family could be deceased, I could have had complications, or no insurance. I am so very blessed, and so very glad to be just a little bit stronger, a little bit changed, and have one more day.
One more day to make a difference, one more day to change the world, one more day to say I love you, one more day to laugh. What a gift to have one more day, no matter the pains or sorrows, one more day to make a choice to live, to change, to grow, to give. Time is the one priceless gift we have that we cannot give or take, a gift to accept and do with as we choose. Many would kill for more time, one more day with a lost beloved or to do things different. We so often take for granted the day we have, to moan of a bad day or stress with things at the office. But what does it boil down to really, to see the value of life? A death? A tragedy? For a day of blessings is often taken for granted, especially the biggest one of all - one more day to walk this earth, one more day to give all you've got, one more day to bring a smile to a dark and lonely heart. Do not waste what you have been given, for it is just that, a day you have been given, do not waste such a priceless, precious, timeless gift.
And that is all I can handle. "For I am convinced that the sufferings of this present moment are nothing compared to the glories to be revealed to us through Christ our Lord."
I guess one could say a theme of my life is "Go big or go home." If you are going to get appendicitis, might as well make sure you have gangrene, be in the middle of nowhere, WY, and do it during the busiest time at work. Right?? Right. I won't lie, despair has been a convicting companion through it all, but hope, light and joy are breaking through the darkness.
As I have been told, and believe myself I have a gift for finding good even in the darkest times and so I would like to share with you some of these good things/wonderings of my brain. Despite no longer possessing an appendix inside my body, I still have an Appendix right down the road. (Appendix is the breed of 1/2 Quarter Horse, 1/2 Thoroughbred). The cute male nurse in the ER must have thought I was crazy when every time he asked what kind of horse I had I kept answering "Appendix". Given, he didn't know what an appendix was (other than an organ), I can only imagine his thought process being along the lines of "yes, you are here to remove your appendix, but we aren't talking about that." So who would have thought of all the great fun jokes I can come up with between Precious and this? My appendix became a horse, my appendix lives on greener pastures now...Haha.
I have also wondered in my long hours in silence/alone-ness what on earth the purpose of such an organ that has no function but can kill you if infected is. The only explanation I could come up with is something like a protein, protein builds muscle, makes us stronger and we all know the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." If you get appendicitis it'll do one of two things: kill you or make you stronger. I've decided that your appendix is there for that little test that only 10% of the nation has to take. I'm pleased to announce that I have passed!
I was going to write a whole long entry on my experience of the hospital, but as I look back its all pretty fuzzy. I experienced morphine and all sorts of other fun narcotics for the first time. In all honesty, I hated it, I can not understand why people become addicted, besides eliminating the most horrific pain after surgery, it is a most gruesome drug. Yes, the hospital run down shall be for another day. In the meantime, while praying I wrote this little snippet while killing despair and searching for hope; I hope you like it. In realizing how lucky I am to have gotten off this easy, despite it being difficult, I really have no room to complain. No room at all. I could have cancer, my family could be deceased, I could have had complications, or no insurance. I am so very blessed, and so very glad to be just a little bit stronger, a little bit changed, and have one more day.
One more day to make a difference, one more day to change the world, one more day to say I love you, one more day to laugh. What a gift to have one more day, no matter the pains or sorrows, one more day to make a choice to live, to change, to grow, to give. Time is the one priceless gift we have that we cannot give or take, a gift to accept and do with as we choose. Many would kill for more time, one more day with a lost beloved or to do things different. We so often take for granted the day we have, to moan of a bad day or stress with things at the office. But what does it boil down to really, to see the value of life? A death? A tragedy? For a day of blessings is often taken for granted, especially the biggest one of all - one more day to walk this earth, one more day to give all you've got, one more day to bring a smile to a dark and lonely heart. Do not waste what you have been given, for it is just that, a day you have been given, do not waste such a priceless, precious, timeless gift.
And that is all I can handle. "For I am convinced that the sufferings of this present moment are nothing compared to the glories to be revealed to us through Christ our Lord."
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The Toe Saga, Friends and a Reunion
So I realize its been quite a while since I last blogged and last night while I was laying in bed I had this great dramatic story to intro of all that has been going on the last two weeks which totally disappeared with a day in the sun. Hmph. So instead I'll start at the end - I open at the close: phrase on the snitch in Harry Potter 7 - that is what I thought of as I wrote that.
The Toe Saga: The shelf fell, I screamed, I tried to ride, I blacked out, I sat and blogged. Life since then has revolved around a little tiny bone in the foot called the Right Fourth Phalanx. Who would have thought that such a tiny composition of calcium and blood and all sorts of good stuff could so totally alter the way you function on a day to to day basis? I thought toe injuries could just be brushed off. Guess not. After the incident and a week and a half of continued bruising, swelling, limping, pain and a funky looking toe I decided to go to Urgent Care and get an X-ray. The result: Multiple fracture. Lovely. Here is the divine part of all of this: Staff has been planning multiple week long hiking trips for the girls. Accidentally (the day before the shelf attack) I was not put on to actually hike, but rather to stay at the ranch. I considered it divine that I would not have to hike umpteen miles a day with this swollen monster. Then the site we were supposed to go (keep in mind this is mid July people) still had THREE FEET OF SNOW!! So the trip was postponed. Now starting the 25th we are going camping...intentionally I will be staying at the ranch. So, the diagnosis...after the initial x-ray I went to the podiatrist to see what to do about my poor nearly shattered bone. Fortunately no surgery needed. Unfortunately, assuming I stay off of it (an impossible feat), the recovery time is about 12 weeks for normal function and 6 months for it to be like the neighbor's toe. Though I do not say it out loud I refer to myself as hob-a-long Cassidy due to my limp, as opposed to Hop-a-long cassidy. I do hope that makes you smile as much as it has me. Despite this tragic tale of a phalanx, I have still managed to go on a six hour trail ride (before the first x-ray) to the riverbed and soaked my feet in ice cold water. I couldn't really get my boot on after that so I tied my boots to my saddle and rode home barefoot. Best and worst idea of the last few weeks. :). I say last few weeks because I tend to have a lot of best and worst ideas, which concludes this blog's update on the toe saga.
As for the friends part of this blog's title, my life is slowly somewhat making sense. I bought my first snappy and cowgirl hat (it is my favorite and quite practical), I've continued to enjoy the Cody rodeo, went to my first REAL western bar, and have enjoyed some community events like Shakespeare in the Park and the Clark Jamboree Parade. Shakespeare in the park, a group from Montana University, Bozeman. They travel all across Montana and Wyoming all summer performing two different plays in parks! Ours was inside though due to threatening weather. The play we saw was The Venice Merchant, or something like that. Sorry Shakespeare, terrible memory I have. It reminded me a lot of NET, when I saw them packing up their trailer of props and the stage set my heart pined for my team, the Silver Bullet and Taylor the Trailer. The jamboree parade was great, an old Ford Model A 1930 car decorated with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, lots of horses with owner dressed up in characters like Louis and Clark and Roy Rogers. AND they came back up the road so everyone got to see the parade twice. I love love love this little population of 300.
Now, as for the reunion part of all this, are you ready? Hold on tight. After nearly two years of separation, of inconsistent time together of being an ocean apart for six months and two counties for a year and a half my dearest friend and I have been reunited, Precious is safe in Wyoming on a giant pasture with fourteen other horses. She got in at 1 AM and oh how her voice enkindled my heart. I have a nickname for her and she knows it. As soon as I called her by it I heard the best sound in the world, her voice, she looked right at me and gave a hello nicker. (For all you non-horsey folk, yes horses have different tones to their neighs, after eleven years of a relationship with my girl, I know her voice). Words can not do justice the joy that voice brought me, that she recognized me and was happy to see me. And today taking the girls to the ranch Marie slowed the suburban down by her (the girls recognized that she was new) and when I called her she nickered again. My most beloved Precious is just as excited as me to be back in each others lives. Praise God, what a gift and a blessing. The JTL girls know she was mine, but I'm going to try to keep it on the down low from the other girls. Staff knows. OH how good it is to be around horses!!! Today I gave a lesson, it was wonderful and a piece of my heart, though full of God is enkindled again able to live in it's passion, with the gift that God made just for me...horses, and especially my girl. Two years and I'm home with her, with God, and I will rejoice in this gift for as long as He allows me to have it. Psalm 118:24 says "This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad." And all I can say is AMEN!
And I continue to live happily ever after...
Of course if you know me or my blogs, you know that I learn many a new lessons every day, it is truly incredible. I should be a genius by now or something (or I just missed out on the common sense gene and am getting it through experience, :) ).
So here is what I've learned from Wyoming:
- Water bottles chill faster in a running river than the freezer (good thing there is one right out my door!)
- Leaving the window open while at work will inevitably mean it is going to rain. (All your books and bed get drenched when this happens!)
- Forgetting about the chicken you took out of the freezer to thaw in the fridge will make your nose cringe
- Still trying to figure out how to extract a DVD from a player that won't turn on. Have no idea how that happened. Ba!
- Buying HP7:part 2 tickets ahead of time and getting there right at commercials will save you a lot of time in lines. RIP waiting for new Harry Potter stuff. Cheers to finally moving on!
Well, for those of you who made it this far, thank you for taking an interest in my rather curious life, love you!
Oh yeah, before I forget. You know how when a rock hits your windshield, it leaves a big gap and then it spread in a unpredictable pattern across the glass? That is kind of what happened to my toe. A big gaping separation at the base which crawls up north (toward the tip), curves left (toward the big toe) and then travels south. Fun eh? Oh yeah, and when its taped and I walk normal I can feel that gap move...gross! Cheers!
Tracie
The Toe Saga: The shelf fell, I screamed, I tried to ride, I blacked out, I sat and blogged. Life since then has revolved around a little tiny bone in the foot called the Right Fourth Phalanx. Who would have thought that such a tiny composition of calcium and blood and all sorts of good stuff could so totally alter the way you function on a day to to day basis? I thought toe injuries could just be brushed off. Guess not. After the incident and a week and a half of continued bruising, swelling, limping, pain and a funky looking toe I decided to go to Urgent Care and get an X-ray. The result: Multiple fracture. Lovely. Here is the divine part of all of this: Staff has been planning multiple week long hiking trips for the girls. Accidentally (the day before the shelf attack) I was not put on to actually hike, but rather to stay at the ranch. I considered it divine that I would not have to hike umpteen miles a day with this swollen monster. Then the site we were supposed to go (keep in mind this is mid July people) still had THREE FEET OF SNOW!! So the trip was postponed. Now starting the 25th we are going camping...intentionally I will be staying at the ranch. So, the diagnosis...after the initial x-ray I went to the podiatrist to see what to do about my poor nearly shattered bone. Fortunately no surgery needed. Unfortunately, assuming I stay off of it (an impossible feat), the recovery time is about 12 weeks for normal function and 6 months for it to be like the neighbor's toe. Though I do not say it out loud I refer to myself as hob-a-long Cassidy due to my limp, as opposed to Hop-a-long cassidy. I do hope that makes you smile as much as it has me. Despite this tragic tale of a phalanx, I have still managed to go on a six hour trail ride (before the first x-ray) to the riverbed and soaked my feet in ice cold water. I couldn't really get my boot on after that so I tied my boots to my saddle and rode home barefoot. Best and worst idea of the last few weeks. :). I say last few weeks because I tend to have a lot of best and worst ideas, which concludes this blog's update on the toe saga.
As for the friends part of this blog's title, my life is slowly somewhat making sense. I bought my first snappy and cowgirl hat (it is my favorite and quite practical), I've continued to enjoy the Cody rodeo, went to my first REAL western bar, and have enjoyed some community events like Shakespeare in the Park and the Clark Jamboree Parade. Shakespeare in the park, a group from Montana University, Bozeman. They travel all across Montana and Wyoming all summer performing two different plays in parks! Ours was inside though due to threatening weather. The play we saw was The Venice Merchant, or something like that. Sorry Shakespeare, terrible memory I have. It reminded me a lot of NET, when I saw them packing up their trailer of props and the stage set my heart pined for my team, the Silver Bullet and Taylor the Trailer. The jamboree parade was great, an old Ford Model A 1930 car decorated with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, lots of horses with owner dressed up in characters like Louis and Clark and Roy Rogers. AND they came back up the road so everyone got to see the parade twice. I love love love this little population of 300.
Now, as for the reunion part of all this, are you ready? Hold on tight. After nearly two years of separation, of inconsistent time together of being an ocean apart for six months and two counties for a year and a half my dearest friend and I have been reunited, Precious is safe in Wyoming on a giant pasture with fourteen other horses. She got in at 1 AM and oh how her voice enkindled my heart. I have a nickname for her and she knows it. As soon as I called her by it I heard the best sound in the world, her voice, she looked right at me and gave a hello nicker. (For all you non-horsey folk, yes horses have different tones to their neighs, after eleven years of a relationship with my girl, I know her voice). Words can not do justice the joy that voice brought me, that she recognized me and was happy to see me. And today taking the girls to the ranch Marie slowed the suburban down by her (the girls recognized that she was new) and when I called her she nickered again. My most beloved Precious is just as excited as me to be back in each others lives. Praise God, what a gift and a blessing. The JTL girls know she was mine, but I'm going to try to keep it on the down low from the other girls. Staff knows. OH how good it is to be around horses!!! Today I gave a lesson, it was wonderful and a piece of my heart, though full of God is enkindled again able to live in it's passion, with the gift that God made just for me...horses, and especially my girl. Two years and I'm home with her, with God, and I will rejoice in this gift for as long as He allows me to have it. Psalm 118:24 says "This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad." And all I can say is AMEN!
And I continue to live happily ever after...
Of course if you know me or my blogs, you know that I learn many a new lessons every day, it is truly incredible. I should be a genius by now or something (or I just missed out on the common sense gene and am getting it through experience, :) ).
So here is what I've learned from Wyoming:
- Water bottles chill faster in a running river than the freezer (good thing there is one right out my door!)
- Leaving the window open while at work will inevitably mean it is going to rain. (All your books and bed get drenched when this happens!)
- Forgetting about the chicken you took out of the freezer to thaw in the fridge will make your nose cringe
- Still trying to figure out how to extract a DVD from a player that won't turn on. Have no idea how that happened. Ba!
- Buying HP7:part 2 tickets ahead of time and getting there right at commercials will save you a lot of time in lines. RIP waiting for new Harry Potter stuff. Cheers to finally moving on!
Well, for those of you who made it this far, thank you for taking an interest in my rather curious life, love you!
Oh yeah, before I forget. You know how when a rock hits your windshield, it leaves a big gap and then it spread in a unpredictable pattern across the glass? That is kind of what happened to my toe. A big gaping separation at the base which crawls up north (toward the tip), curves left (toward the big toe) and then travels south. Fun eh? Oh yeah, and when its taped and I walk normal I can feel that gap move...gross! Cheers!
Tracie
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
A Lack of Heroicism
Well as you probably know, I'm not the most graceful person in the world, and I have a gift for getting injured...99% of the time very stupidly too. As you also know I love horseback riding and will jump at any chance to go. As you also know I am very stubborn and pretty tough in the ways of pain.
Well, Marie and I were getting ready to go, I was going to ride Rocky who hasn't been ridden much and have been excited to make him my own personal project. This morning we were all ready to go and I was leaning against my door when...
Background story:
About four girls lived in the room I am in before me. They left behind some wire shelves. When I first moved in I saw them and the nails in the wall and decided to put them up. (the nails were smaller than the holes and I had been meaning to get bigger nails...
So I was leaning against the door when it knocked the shelves off the wall and onto my foot. I yelped and looked down...within seconds my foot was black and blue. Lovely. Lots of pain. I sat down for a few, surely it would just go away, most things like this do within a few minutes. I got on my boots and we got in the car. After parking, walking to the tack shed I got super light headed, nauseous, saw stars and then black, in fighting to not pass out completely I sat down. I really wanted to ride. I fought to ride, but only half heartedly, I knew it would be stupid. And so I didn't and now I sit here, foot elevated, frozen peas on the injury, and the swelling growing. Lovely. I can barely walk as the swelling is a good portion of my foot.
Oh why, oh when will I have a good story to go with these things? As you may also know, I can exagerate. This time I am not, unfortunately. Thats all!
Tracie
Well, Marie and I were getting ready to go, I was going to ride Rocky who hasn't been ridden much and have been excited to make him my own personal project. This morning we were all ready to go and I was leaning against my door when...
Background story:
About four girls lived in the room I am in before me. They left behind some wire shelves. When I first moved in I saw them and the nails in the wall and decided to put them up. (the nails were smaller than the holes and I had been meaning to get bigger nails...
So I was leaning against the door when it knocked the shelves off the wall and onto my foot. I yelped and looked down...within seconds my foot was black and blue. Lovely. Lots of pain. I sat down for a few, surely it would just go away, most things like this do within a few minutes. I got on my boots and we got in the car. After parking, walking to the tack shed I got super light headed, nauseous, saw stars and then black, in fighting to not pass out completely I sat down. I really wanted to ride. I fought to ride, but only half heartedly, I knew it would be stupid. And so I didn't and now I sit here, foot elevated, frozen peas on the injury, and the swelling growing. Lovely. I can barely walk as the swelling is a good portion of my foot.
Oh why, oh when will I have a good story to go with these things? As you may also know, I can exagerate. This time I am not, unfortunately. Thats all!
Tracie
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Indiana Jones, almost.
Well my dear readers,
I can't recall what stories I have shared in the last week, but there are a few things I would like to tell you about. First, I'm moved into my new house and LOVE it. I have 2 windows that show me the millions of stars and the huge mountain. I leave them open all day - which in the mornings makes it almost like I'm camping when I wake up to the fresh air. I've taken my first trip to Billings and decided that the longer I'm away from cities, the more I enjoy the solitude of where I live. We never lock our house or our cars because there is no need. I must say I was excited to be in a Target again and had to exert extreme self control in the shopping department.
Today we celebrated Marie's birthday by going on a 4 mile round trip hike to a natural spring! I got to wear my chacos! I didn't think ahead and forgot about cactus, I stubbed my toe on a needle - OUCH!
We didn't realize it before we got there, but the spring had a rock cave!
I must admit I was afraid of bears and snakes and greatly desired my headlamp, but used the red light on my camera instead as a way to try and determine if cave exploration was safe...it was. Unfortunately most of the pictures came out too dark, but overall it was like a real life Indiana Jones or something like that. I felt like I was in the movie True Grit when the girl falls in the cave. Thank God there were no snakes!
Here are some pictures from that excursion...you know you want to come see it in real life!
These pink flowers were everywhere!
The water was colder than ice (but I guess not because it'd be frozen?),
After we were nice and dirty we had a picnic with homemade foccacia bread, fresh mozzarella cheese, olive oil and merlot wine.
It was so beautiful!
I have 5 days in a row of work at the ranch and by the middle of July I should officially be full time at the JTL. I love it over there! I know there is a lot more but can't think of anything else for now, so have a wonderful weekend and God Bless!
Oh yes I love rodeos! The Cody Nite Rodeo happens every night and I get to go about once a week. Precious comes on July 14, I'm thinking I might try barrel racing for my birthday in the rodeo...just for fun. Ya'll should come watch!! Hint hint nudge nudge! ;)
I can't recall what stories I have shared in the last week, but there are a few things I would like to tell you about. First, I'm moved into my new house and LOVE it. I have 2 windows that show me the millions of stars and the huge mountain. I leave them open all day - which in the mornings makes it almost like I'm camping when I wake up to the fresh air. I've taken my first trip to Billings and decided that the longer I'm away from cities, the more I enjoy the solitude of where I live. We never lock our house or our cars because there is no need. I must say I was excited to be in a Target again and had to exert extreme self control in the shopping department.
Today we celebrated Marie's birthday by going on a 4 mile round trip hike to a natural spring! I got to wear my chacos! I didn't think ahead and forgot about cactus, I stubbed my toe on a needle - OUCH!
We didn't realize it before we got there, but the spring had a rock cave!
I must admit I was afraid of bears and snakes and greatly desired my headlamp, but used the red light on my camera instead as a way to try and determine if cave exploration was safe...it was. Unfortunately most of the pictures came out too dark, but overall it was like a real life Indiana Jones or something like that. I felt like I was in the movie True Grit when the girl falls in the cave. Thank God there were no snakes!
Here are some pictures from that excursion...you know you want to come see it in real life!
These pink flowers were everywhere!
The water was colder than ice (but I guess not because it'd be frozen?),
After we were nice and dirty we had a picnic with homemade foccacia bread, fresh mozzarella cheese, olive oil and merlot wine.
It was so beautiful!
I have 5 days in a row of work at the ranch and by the middle of July I should officially be full time at the JTL. I love it over there! I know there is a lot more but can't think of anything else for now, so have a wonderful weekend and God Bless!
Oh yes I love rodeos! The Cody Nite Rodeo happens every night and I get to go about once a week. Precious comes on July 14, I'm thinking I might try barrel racing for my birthday in the rodeo...just for fun. Ya'll should come watch!! Hint hint nudge nudge! ;)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Well, I finally went hiking! My roomie told me that if I was going to go deep in the canyon I should have bear spray. I don’t own any of that, and as I’ve gotten this far in life without too much trouble I headed out thinking I’d be just fine. Heh. I wanted to go the three miles to the next trailhead and then come back. I headed into the canyon with my backpack, water, sweatshirt, granola bar and I forgot my knife. No bear spray. I kept thinking about my hiking in Alaska…when I went into the woods alone without telling my parents...I was lucky then, surely that luck would hold out right?
Well, before I left I had a conversation with my cousin about the development of the human brain. Apparently your hypothalamus is what helps you regulate the concept of what is safe and dangerous, and does not fully develop until you are 25, which is why most youth think they are invincible, myself included. Sigh…in my opinion one of the saddest things you lose growing up. So, I was hiking along and then I stumbled across…oh yes, you guessed it…a deer leg!! One thing about hiking here is that people are very few and very far between. For the first time in my life I was afraid of the danger of actually running into a bear. Immediately I started getting paranoid, planning my Discovery Channel rescue, where would I get white to make an X (still don’t have an answer), what would I eat (I left my granola bar in the car by accident, with my knife), how would I find shelter. Okay, realistically I was probably only a mile from my car, but still…for the first time in my life I was afraid of something like bears and I realized that my hypothalamus must be fully developed. Despite this warning, I kept going through the canyon anyways singing out loud (good thing no one was around, I hurt my own ears a little), went as deep into the canyon as my hypothalamus would allow, found a nice place by the river (which is class 5!), read, wrote in my journal, watched the clouds go by. I even found a patch of purple butterflies that were very compliant in letting my take pictures of them. I wanted to drink from the streams that were trickling from the snowmelt, but again my hypothalamus said “What if you get giardia or some other micro bacterial disease?” Ew. And I stopped.
I don’t intentionally do stupid things, I just do things and then realize how stupid they are when I finish. So despite having not actually seen a bear, the leg was enough to freak me out. (I suppose it could have been coyotes). Regardless, I now have a personal policy of not hiking alone, and I am buying bear spray. I still kind of want to see a bear despite the fear…go figure!). Seriously people what is happening, since when do I think of these things ahead of time?! I miss my invincibility cloak. Haha, instead of invisible, invincible? Get it? Okay, moving on to more important matters…
Part of my job is watching the yps (young peoples) do their school work; get anything they may need, answer questions, etc. Yesterday we had staffing, which is when we come together as a staff and talk about each client and what they need and get on the same page for each person. During this time we take turns being in the school house. I must have been tired, because I spent a portion of time in the silence pondering the science of eating an apple:
Eating an Apple, a sort-of reflection by Tracie Petitti
What is the best bite of an apple? Is it the first bite, where you partially enter your teeth into an apple and a big crispy chunk comes off? What about if it is soggy, is it the last few bites by the core, knowing you successfully suffered through the whole thing? What about the bite that says “mmm, at last I made it around the entire circumference?” Do you like the top by the stem, like eating the cliff after you’ve devoured the center? Bites with skin or without? Maybe the best is when our apple is sliced, when you puncture the knife in the side and the juice comes out like Old Faithful (that might be an exaggeration…)? Maybe the best bite is not a bite but that juice on a hot summer day, right out of the fridge. Well, whatever it may be for you, as for me and my gang (my teeth, mouth), we like the first crispy bite, and find it most disappointing when the apple is soggy.
Even stranger, I actually had a few conversations about it. My poll shows that most people’s favorite bite is the first. What about you?
Oh yeah…I’m moving. Surprise! If there is one thing about life that should not surprise me, it is how much can happen in a few days. If there is a second thing about life that should not surprise me, it is that Murphy’s Law will never cease to exist in my life. I finally got all unpacked and settled and yesterday after staffing I learned some surprising, don’t know how I feel yet news: Are you ready? (I mean really really ready?) How attached to my writing are you? I can’t believe I’m sharing this via a blog.
Okay, here we go…drum roll please…as most of you know, I came out to Wyoming expecting to work with troubled teens. I guess God had a different plan for me because after a day of unease in my heart, yesterday after staffing I learned that I have officially been locked into the young adult program! Yes indeed, instead of working with fourteen 13-17 year olds, I will be working with six 18 and up-ers. I’ll let you know how I feel once I catch my breath. I have to move to a new house by Friday, which means I should probably be packing. However, for the first time in nearly a year I have the choice to relax first. Plus, though this job is not physically draining, it is mentally draining, I’ve been “on” for 72 hours and once again my life is whirlwind. I’ll keep you updated on my new life at JTL (the acronym for the young adult program), but overall I think I’m excited.
I’m glad life is a roller coaster, one inconsistent, exciting, new roller coaster. Wouldn’t it be boring if life was like a circle caterpillar roller coaster at fairgrounds? You’d get sick, literally.
Please keep me in your prayers as I adjust, learn, and prepare to accomplish His will for me this year!
God Bless,
Tracie
Well, before I left I had a conversation with my cousin about the development of the human brain. Apparently your hypothalamus is what helps you regulate the concept of what is safe and dangerous, and does not fully develop until you are 25, which is why most youth think they are invincible, myself included. Sigh…in my opinion one of the saddest things you lose growing up. So, I was hiking along and then I stumbled across…oh yes, you guessed it…a deer leg!! One thing about hiking here is that people are very few and very far between. For the first time in my life I was afraid of the danger of actually running into a bear. Immediately I started getting paranoid, planning my Discovery Channel rescue, where would I get white to make an X (still don’t have an answer), what would I eat (I left my granola bar in the car by accident, with my knife), how would I find shelter. Okay, realistically I was probably only a mile from my car, but still…for the first time in my life I was afraid of something like bears and I realized that my hypothalamus must be fully developed. Despite this warning, I kept going through the canyon anyways singing out loud (good thing no one was around, I hurt my own ears a little), went as deep into the canyon as my hypothalamus would allow, found a nice place by the river (which is class 5!), read, wrote in my journal, watched the clouds go by. I even found a patch of purple butterflies that were very compliant in letting my take pictures of them. I wanted to drink from the streams that were trickling from the snowmelt, but again my hypothalamus said “What if you get giardia or some other micro bacterial disease?” Ew. And I stopped.
I don’t intentionally do stupid things, I just do things and then realize how stupid they are when I finish. So despite having not actually seen a bear, the leg was enough to freak me out. (I suppose it could have been coyotes). Regardless, I now have a personal policy of not hiking alone, and I am buying bear spray. I still kind of want to see a bear despite the fear…go figure!). Seriously people what is happening, since when do I think of these things ahead of time?! I miss my invincibility cloak. Haha, instead of invisible, invincible? Get it? Okay, moving on to more important matters…
Part of my job is watching the yps (young peoples) do their school work; get anything they may need, answer questions, etc. Yesterday we had staffing, which is when we come together as a staff and talk about each client and what they need and get on the same page for each person. During this time we take turns being in the school house. I must have been tired, because I spent a portion of time in the silence pondering the science of eating an apple:
Eating an Apple, a sort-of reflection by Tracie Petitti
What is the best bite of an apple? Is it the first bite, where you partially enter your teeth into an apple and a big crispy chunk comes off? What about if it is soggy, is it the last few bites by the core, knowing you successfully suffered through the whole thing? What about the bite that says “mmm, at last I made it around the entire circumference?” Do you like the top by the stem, like eating the cliff after you’ve devoured the center? Bites with skin or without? Maybe the best is when our apple is sliced, when you puncture the knife in the side and the juice comes out like Old Faithful (that might be an exaggeration…)? Maybe the best bite is not a bite but that juice on a hot summer day, right out of the fridge. Well, whatever it may be for you, as for me and my gang (my teeth, mouth), we like the first crispy bite, and find it most disappointing when the apple is soggy.
Even stranger, I actually had a few conversations about it. My poll shows that most people’s favorite bite is the first. What about you?
Oh yeah…I’m moving. Surprise! If there is one thing about life that should not surprise me, it is how much can happen in a few days. If there is a second thing about life that should not surprise me, it is that Murphy’s Law will never cease to exist in my life. I finally got all unpacked and settled and yesterday after staffing I learned some surprising, don’t know how I feel yet news: Are you ready? (I mean really really ready?) How attached to my writing are you? I can’t believe I’m sharing this via a blog.
Okay, here we go…drum roll please…as most of you know, I came out to Wyoming expecting to work with troubled teens. I guess God had a different plan for me because after a day of unease in my heart, yesterday after staffing I learned that I have officially been locked into the young adult program! Yes indeed, instead of working with fourteen 13-17 year olds, I will be working with six 18 and up-ers. I’ll let you know how I feel once I catch my breath. I have to move to a new house by Friday, which means I should probably be packing. However, for the first time in nearly a year I have the choice to relax first. Plus, though this job is not physically draining, it is mentally draining, I’ve been “on” for 72 hours and once again my life is whirlwind. I’ll keep you updated on my new life at JTL (the acronym for the young adult program), but overall I think I’m excited.
I’m glad life is a roller coaster, one inconsistent, exciting, new roller coaster. Wouldn’t it be boring if life was like a circle caterpillar roller coaster at fairgrounds? You’d get sick, literally.
Please keep me in your prayers as I adjust, learn, and prepare to accomplish His will for me this year!
God Bless,
Tracie
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Lightning and Snakes and Bears OH MY!
Dear Readers,
It’s a cloudy Thursday and in my world it feels like a glorious blue sky sunny Saturday. I suppose that is the nature of working a lot with sunny weather. How ironic, Beautiful Day by U2 just started playing on I-tunes. Murphy’s Law number 82: If the weather is nice while at work, it will change for the worse on your day off. Good news! This is okay because well…the day is mine to seize and conquer! And so how am I spending it at the moment?...telling you about my week, in a world of nothing extraordinary, in events of everyday, things that probably are not even that exciting, I’m sharing them with a twist of “life according to Tracie.”
I want to write today about insanity - insanity of my job, insanity of Wyoming, insanity of me. Well, really it is not THAT insane. So day two of work…Sunday. We went to Mass, and then had lunch (a hot lunch mind you because it was SUNDAY! (We never have hot lunches otherwise)). On Sundays the girls are allowed to listen to music, get letters from their families, and get a hot lunch. Sidenote: practically every lunch on NET we had sandwiches. I swore I wouldn’t eat any for a very long time. God has a very funny sense of humor. So Sunday lunches - mu-ee (I don’t know how to spell Spanish) bueno!
Moving on. To spice life up a bit, we took the girls to the river. Given, I did not know we were going to be hiking beforehand so I did not bring proper hiking shoes; I just had my cowboy boots. Time to cowgirl up! So we are walking on one of the rockiest trails I’ve ever experienced and I’m trying not to scuff my boots (they were new, I’d like to keep them nice for at least a little while!). If you’ve never hiked in cowboy boots, don’t. Given they gave some ankle support, but not so much on the soles of my feet, I might as well have been barefoot. Sidenote: the river is in the canyon that I took pictures in last week and about a mile in there is a waterfall called Bridal Veils Falls, which was our destination. Technically I didn’t go to the falls, it was my job to stay behind with the girls who didn’t want to brave the bouldering and get wet because apparently it is a “guaranteed to get wet” hike.
Well, we were all hiking together for a while up the hill to the part where you start bouldering and all of a sudden we hear this loud obnoxious noise. Oh yes, a rattlesnake, a cute little baby rattlesnake was hiding under a bush. My first one! I am pleased to know that rattlers have rattlers and they are quite audible, because any other snake I would just be clueless walking right on by (and it has happened before in Colorado and Georgia). Exhibit A of why one should hike with protection. I know rattlers are essentially everywhere, but really, they are everywhere here. Oh…and so are bears, especially at the dumpster. It is recommended I get a gun for whenever I go riding…just in case. My roomies have promised to take me shooting, dun dun dun dun! I feel like my life is a real version of the movie City Slickers. In any case, we walked passed it and no one got hurt. So now every time I hear a grasshopper I get paranoid, they sound so similar! The difference: Grasshoppers are an intermittent sound, rattlers are a constant sound. The end.
Back to the ranch, if you didn’t know this about me, I have a fear of matches and fire. The girls cook on a camping grill with a propane tank outside. As the girls can’t use matches it is our job to light the grill. I killed about three matches before I realized that the propane tank has an on/off knob to allow the propane to enter (I had already turned the nozzle on the grill). I was so relieved I was alone…how embarrassing!
All in all here is a quick summary of what I have learned in the last five days:
One can cut an apple with a spoon
Rattlesnakes are loud
Goat head butting hurts
Cowboy boots are not good hiking footwear
Deer jump fences
Cows are dumb
Sheep are dumber
One should use caution around propane with matches
I’m in charge!! :)
This is not summer camp
Why I’m glad I’m an advisor and not a client:
We can do what we want
We make the decisions
We get to drive the ranger uphill and not run
When the food is bland we can use salt or other condiments to help it
We don’t have to earn the privilege of closing stall doors in the bathroom
We don’t have to ask permission to speak, to go anywhere
We get keys
We watch the mucking (15 years later of scooping poop, I’m finally on top of the pecking order!…well, sort of, we still have a supervisor, a boss, but I’m not at the bottom!)
And in case you are wondering about the deer, cows, sheep, every morning or night when I drive to or from work I play dodgeball with these livestock, I nearly hit one at least once a day. I have yet to nearly miss an antelope. So, the deer jump the fences and land in front of you (car brights are my saving grace), the cows stand there, the sheep lay there. Honking my horn is the occasional effective way to move them, and sometimes you just gotta gently hit them to tell them you mean business!
God Bless!
Tracie
It’s a cloudy Thursday and in my world it feels like a glorious blue sky sunny Saturday. I suppose that is the nature of working a lot with sunny weather. How ironic, Beautiful Day by U2 just started playing on I-tunes. Murphy’s Law number 82: If the weather is nice while at work, it will change for the worse on your day off. Good news! This is okay because well…the day is mine to seize and conquer! And so how am I spending it at the moment?...telling you about my week, in a world of nothing extraordinary, in events of everyday, things that probably are not even that exciting, I’m sharing them with a twist of “life according to Tracie.”
I want to write today about insanity - insanity of my job, insanity of Wyoming, insanity of me. Well, really it is not THAT insane. So day two of work…Sunday. We went to Mass, and then had lunch (a hot lunch mind you because it was SUNDAY! (We never have hot lunches otherwise)). On Sundays the girls are allowed to listen to music, get letters from their families, and get a hot lunch. Sidenote: practically every lunch on NET we had sandwiches. I swore I wouldn’t eat any for a very long time. God has a very funny sense of humor. So Sunday lunches - mu-ee (I don’t know how to spell Spanish) bueno!
Moving on. To spice life up a bit, we took the girls to the river. Given, I did not know we were going to be hiking beforehand so I did not bring proper hiking shoes; I just had my cowboy boots. Time to cowgirl up! So we are walking on one of the rockiest trails I’ve ever experienced and I’m trying not to scuff my boots (they were new, I’d like to keep them nice for at least a little while!). If you’ve never hiked in cowboy boots, don’t. Given they gave some ankle support, but not so much on the soles of my feet, I might as well have been barefoot. Sidenote: the river is in the canyon that I took pictures in last week and about a mile in there is a waterfall called Bridal Veils Falls, which was our destination. Technically I didn’t go to the falls, it was my job to stay behind with the girls who didn’t want to brave the bouldering and get wet because apparently it is a “guaranteed to get wet” hike.
Well, we were all hiking together for a while up the hill to the part where you start bouldering and all of a sudden we hear this loud obnoxious noise. Oh yes, a rattlesnake, a cute little baby rattlesnake was hiding under a bush. My first one! I am pleased to know that rattlers have rattlers and they are quite audible, because any other snake I would just be clueless walking right on by (and it has happened before in Colorado and Georgia). Exhibit A of why one should hike with protection. I know rattlers are essentially everywhere, but really, they are everywhere here. Oh…and so are bears, especially at the dumpster. It is recommended I get a gun for whenever I go riding…just in case. My roomies have promised to take me shooting, dun dun dun dun! I feel like my life is a real version of the movie City Slickers. In any case, we walked passed it and no one got hurt. So now every time I hear a grasshopper I get paranoid, they sound so similar! The difference: Grasshoppers are an intermittent sound, rattlers are a constant sound. The end.
Back to the ranch, if you didn’t know this about me, I have a fear of matches and fire. The girls cook on a camping grill with a propane tank outside. As the girls can’t use matches it is our job to light the grill. I killed about three matches before I realized that the propane tank has an on/off knob to allow the propane to enter (I had already turned the nozzle on the grill). I was so relieved I was alone…how embarrassing!
All in all here is a quick summary of what I have learned in the last five days:
One can cut an apple with a spoon
Rattlesnakes are loud
Goat head butting hurts
Cowboy boots are not good hiking footwear
Deer jump fences
Cows are dumb
Sheep are dumber
One should use caution around propane with matches
I’m in charge!! :)
This is not summer camp
Why I’m glad I’m an advisor and not a client:
We can do what we want
We make the decisions
We get to drive the ranger uphill and not run
When the food is bland we can use salt or other condiments to help it
We don’t have to earn the privilege of closing stall doors in the bathroom
We don’t have to ask permission to speak, to go anywhere
We get keys
We watch the mucking (15 years later of scooping poop, I’m finally on top of the pecking order!…well, sort of, we still have a supervisor, a boss, but I’m not at the bottom!)
And in case you are wondering about the deer, cows, sheep, every morning or night when I drive to or from work I play dodgeball with these livestock, I nearly hit one at least once a day. I have yet to nearly miss an antelope. So, the deer jump the fences and land in front of you (car brights are my saving grace), the cows stand there, the sheep lay there. Honking my horn is the occasional effective way to move them, and sometimes you just gotta gently hit them to tell them you mean business!
God Bless!
Tracie
Friday, June 3, 2011
Once upon a classroom
So first day of work...not to bad, in fact I most dearly enjoyed it. It mostly consisted of sitting in the classroom monitoring the girls completing school, assignments and answering questions. I kept myself occupied via "Brain Quest" flashcards...what? Yep. Those 5th grade tall stacks of random trivia that kept us entertained on long drives to Sea World and Disneyland. These ones were from 2005 and I had great fun entertaining myself to see if in fact I was as smart as, if not smarter than a 5th grader. I am proud to say I knew most of the questions.
So I was reviewing fraction multiplication, history (where was the first battle of the Civil War), tallest waterfall in the world, and then I came across a highly surprising question...Who was out to get Harry Potter...Lord Voldemort or Professor Snape. WHAT?! Since when is this practical 5th grade trivia???? Aye aye aye aye aye. I just you all would like to know what our funds are supporting. Definite applicable life skills.
So then a girl needed help with a test question. (Random fact about me: I love patterns) It was "Find the next two numbers in this sequence: 32, -48, 72, -108. a. -162, 189
b. 162, 243
c. -162, -189
d. 162, -243
I'm sad to publicly admit that it took two of us an hour to find the answer, low and behold I finally found it!! Can you? Let me know how long it takes you, maybe math truly is not my specialty...answer next time! Part of my job was also to do a grammar check on a paper. I have never seen so many semicolons in my life! I think the shear number of them made me forget how on earth they are supposed to be used. I've never graded an english paper in my life, and the last formal english class I had was about six years ago when I lived in California. I found the past tense problems and all, but I was ashamed to note in myself that I did not feel competant. I think I was distracted by all the short sentences. So one of my summer goals: learn to correctly edit/grade these papers.
So overall I'd call my first day a success. Its crazy I can say no, I have authority, I am in charge!! I'm generally speaking not a very assertive person, but this year I have to be. Oh boy to being stretched.
Well, thats all for now, I have yet to come up with another "Life's amusements according to Tracie" story, so for now I hope you have been entertained. Oh wait! So imagine this little two block tourist town, with a population of maybe 2,000. And you are walking around just seeing the sights (post office, park, souvenir store, high school) when all of a sudden you hear a scream. You look up and right in front of you is a fair. Yes, I was walking around Cody and low and behold there was a fair in the school parking lot. The ferris wheel, merry go round and funnel cake fair! And as we (I was with my coworker) were looking at the various attractions they had a "pet a live sting ray" exhibit. WHAT? I've decided nothing can shock me now. Live sting rays in Cody, Wy? What on earth is the world coming to. I was truly amazed. The day of my last blog ended on a mile river trail marked by this sign: (I don't know how to get it off my phone)
Wild Animal Alert! Bears and Snakes May be Present ON TRAIL (picture of bear and snake)
And for few other reasons than wonderful signs like that (and this), I think I am falling in love with Wyoming.
PS - The wind here is unreal, truly I've never experienced anything like it. Here is a picture of another great Wyoming sign (not too far from the truth either!)
God Bless,
Tracie
So I was reviewing fraction multiplication, history (where was the first battle of the Civil War), tallest waterfall in the world, and then I came across a highly surprising question...Who was out to get Harry Potter...Lord Voldemort or Professor Snape. WHAT?! Since when is this practical 5th grade trivia???? Aye aye aye aye aye. I just you all would like to know what our funds are supporting. Definite applicable life skills.
So then a girl needed help with a test question. (Random fact about me: I love patterns) It was "Find the next two numbers in this sequence: 32, -48, 72, -108. a. -162, 189
b. 162, 243
c. -162, -189
d. 162, -243
I'm sad to publicly admit that it took two of us an hour to find the answer, low and behold I finally found it!! Can you? Let me know how long it takes you, maybe math truly is not my specialty...answer next time! Part of my job was also to do a grammar check on a paper. I have never seen so many semicolons in my life! I think the shear number of them made me forget how on earth they are supposed to be used. I've never graded an english paper in my life, and the last formal english class I had was about six years ago when I lived in California. I found the past tense problems and all, but I was ashamed to note in myself that I did not feel competant. I think I was distracted by all the short sentences. So one of my summer goals: learn to correctly edit/grade these papers.
So overall I'd call my first day a success. Its crazy I can say no, I have authority, I am in charge!! I'm generally speaking not a very assertive person, but this year I have to be. Oh boy to being stretched.
Well, thats all for now, I have yet to come up with another "Life's amusements according to Tracie" story, so for now I hope you have been entertained. Oh wait! So imagine this little two block tourist town, with a population of maybe 2,000. And you are walking around just seeing the sights (post office, park, souvenir store, high school) when all of a sudden you hear a scream. You look up and right in front of you is a fair. Yes, I was walking around Cody and low and behold there was a fair in the school parking lot. The ferris wheel, merry go round and funnel cake fair! And as we (I was with my coworker) were looking at the various attractions they had a "pet a live sting ray" exhibit. WHAT? I've decided nothing can shock me now. Live sting rays in Cody, Wy? What on earth is the world coming to. I was truly amazed. The day of my last blog ended on a mile river trail marked by this sign: (I don't know how to get it off my phone)
Wild Animal Alert! Bears and Snakes May be Present ON TRAIL (picture of bear and snake)
And for few other reasons than wonderful signs like that (and this), I think I am falling in love with Wyoming.
PS - The wind here is unreal, truly I've never experienced anything like it. Here is a picture of another great Wyoming sign (not too far from the truth either!)
God Bless,
Tracie
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wide Open Spaces
This is taken from the front of the house, facing toward the backyard...pretty eh?I have officially been in Wyoming for one week and two days. I realized in hindsight that I was so excited to have internet access that in typing my blog I didn’t spell check or anything and am hardly convinced it made any practical sense…welcome to my brain on a daily basis. Also in my hurry I completely forgot to leave out some of the important details of my new life that I wanted to share with you and so I am using this entry to paint a better picture of my life.
The road into the canyon:
I remember a few years ago right before or around the time I moved to Colorado I was having a discussion with my dad how it could be a good idea for me to go work on a dude ranch for a summer…go out to middle of the west and just be out in the middle of nowhere. I’m not exactly at a 5 star dude ranch, but I’m definitely in the setting for one. I know I mentioned the mountains a few days ago, and sure Colorado has mountains (which I love), but I’ve never lived so close to the base of them.
(PS – in regards to insane weather…yesterday it snowed in Cody, snowed all around us (about halfway down the mountain), and could snow on us today…not likely…but still its May 29th?? Apparently Yellowstone has 30 feet of snow, and cities north of us are flooded. Our rivers are crested (I think meaning to full capacity) which could mean flooding for us when the snow melts. From what I hear with the precipitation of the last few days we have attained 150% of our annual fall.) With all this rain I have learned the fine art of maneuvering Zoe, my two wheel drive truck (she really acts like a car) through slick mud…which is like driving on snow…without the ice…so really completely different…except you still slide and pray to not hit the telephone pole, sheep or barb wire fence. So far, mission accomplished. Here is the road to work: (the ranch is behind the forefront hill)
Did I mention that I’m technically in a community called Clark (population 300), where everyone knows everyone? Technically speaking, it is not an actual town due to the lack of a post office (the only thing critical to naming a town)
…so technically I live in Powell, which is actually about forty miles away. Crazy. Down the “main road” there is a bar called Edelweiss where one must have a beer to officially be considered a local. I shall let you know when that occurs. I have been warned about going to the bars in Cody because it is a guarantee you will get hit on and should you indulge in a relationship, most of the men will propose in 6 months. Fortunately I’m not interested in that; although it would be entertaining…relax! I’m kidding, like I just said, I’m not ready to indulge in any of that right now.
I officially have Wyoming license plates and am all geared up to start work.
We have spent the last week acting as flies on the walls, watching, learning, observing. Do you know how hard it is to play capture the flag without being able to communicate?? Hard. But I am grateful because at first I was scared to talk, but after this week I can’t wait to be able to talk…I think I have a decent idea of what to do. My basic job function is to supervise the girls in chores, ranch work, school work, and conversations, if they lie or manipulate or anything of the sort my job is to give and supervise consequences, essentially act as a mom for fifteen teenage girls, ready or not here I come!
Oh! And there is a little Catholic Church in Clark that looks like an old school house, cute, quaint and small…as if I’ve stepped back in time to Little House on the Prairie. After seeing so many Churches across the country on NET, I was surprised to find that I was surprised by this one in its humble quaintness…filled with the girls from the ranch, and families, it was packed full. One of those where your new face is noticed but not mentioned. And with that I’m going to leave you with a reflection I had in prayer today about the mountains and then try to get a picture so you can see what I am talking about. (And next time I shall share of my housing…which is in some ways not like Italy at all.)
The mountains here are so free, uncharted – no trails, just open wilderness, exposed to the air, the forthcoming and receding clouds. In all elements of nature they stand tall and bold, no fear, almost daring every passerby to take them by the horns and discover their hidden nooks and crannies. Majestic, untamed, wild, free, they are centered in their strength. They are solidly fastened in the ground, boldly facing all weather, all explorers, open to all adventures written on them – so openly present yet hidden and mysterious and beautiful. No matter the winds or storms or heat or rain – they remain breathtaking, changing only in décor placed by the elements – from green to brown to orange to white. No matter what is thrown their way they never move, never run, never hide, adapting and remaining steadfast for the purpose they were created. And it is this mountain that I long to fashion my heart after…as a mountain is grounded to the earth, steadfast in all elements…beautiful even in the storms…so I long to remain steadfast in the Lord…daring every passerby to take life by the horns and discover the nooks and crannies of love that He has for them, the hidden depths of my soul known only to Him, but the beauty of what He has created radiant to all, no matter the elements that surround me, to keep my heart mysterious and beautiful. We are all free, but so frequently chained down by well worn paths, sticking with the known. As I hike and explore this mountain over the course of the summer, as I forge my own trails across the earth, I eagerly look forward to growing in myself – the nooks and crannies of my own soul that I have not yet discovered, to be stretched and stand firm in Him as I face all elements. Just as the mountains are free in their steadfastness to the ground, so I am free in my steadfastness to the Lord…and this is the great joy that I have in my calling, I said yes to God and with Him and Him in nature as my guide surely all that is to be conquered can and will be…a wonderful mystery and adventure to be had and explored.
God Bless,
Tracie
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tracie - The Horse Girl
"Hi" I'm Tracie. "Nice to meet you I'm so and so...oh wait, are you the horse girl?"
Exhibit A of introductions to all current staff. Somehow they all knew me before coming as the horse girl. I guess that is pretty cool, makes me feel special, although I have yet to actually even pet a horse. They are all super nice though and I feel so blessed to be out here!
And with that I have been brewing thoughts over the last few days of how to express what Wyoming is like to you all. I am about 40 minutes North of Cody, which is a super cute touristy, western, historic (Buffalo Bill) town. Store names include the Proud Cut Saloon (18 and over delicious burgers) and Rawhide Coffee (where I am now). The weather is more unpredictable than Colorado with winds, rain, sun hot and cold all in a two hour period. Gusts can reach 300 (three HUNDRED) miles an hour on some days and can be as still as carpet on others. Yes, carpet.
My backyard is this giant huge mountain range that never fails to take my breath away, I mean truly...I don't know how one can be out here and not know God exists. My backyard is dotted with deer, antelope, rabbits, horses, and birds. I wake up to the sun and fall asleep to the sun (sometimes...it gets dark around 9:30). Hiking right out the backdoor of work. And what captures my heart about this hiking is that its find your own trail hiking, not paved trails, totally and completely uncharted by National Forest Services, free and open to be explored, with sharp rocks and trees and brush it yells explore me!!!
I had a whole lot more to say and share, but I don't have time now. Tonight I'll think and write and share more, but for now know that I am getting on my cowgirl (Wranglers and Cowgirl boots with a tucked in shirt) and conquering the dreams of my heart...living on a ranch, helping people, and striving for Sainthood. Whoever said Dreams can't or don't come true never met the God that has so totally captured my heart.
Pray for me as you all know: Life is full of peaches and cream and rocks and splinters. As I stretch into the women He wants me to be and I strive to be a mother to these girls, prayers and grace are the only way to go.
God Bless,
Tracie
Exhibit A of introductions to all current staff. Somehow they all knew me before coming as the horse girl. I guess that is pretty cool, makes me feel special, although I have yet to actually even pet a horse. They are all super nice though and I feel so blessed to be out here!
And with that I have been brewing thoughts over the last few days of how to express what Wyoming is like to you all. I am about 40 minutes North of Cody, which is a super cute touristy, western, historic (Buffalo Bill) town. Store names include the Proud Cut Saloon (18 and over delicious burgers) and Rawhide Coffee (where I am now). The weather is more unpredictable than Colorado with winds, rain, sun hot and cold all in a two hour period. Gusts can reach 300 (three HUNDRED) miles an hour on some days and can be as still as carpet on others. Yes, carpet.
My backyard is this giant huge mountain range that never fails to take my breath away, I mean truly...I don't know how one can be out here and not know God exists. My backyard is dotted with deer, antelope, rabbits, horses, and birds. I wake up to the sun and fall asleep to the sun (sometimes...it gets dark around 9:30). Hiking right out the backdoor of work. And what captures my heart about this hiking is that its find your own trail hiking, not paved trails, totally and completely uncharted by National Forest Services, free and open to be explored, with sharp rocks and trees and brush it yells explore me!!!
I had a whole lot more to say and share, but I don't have time now. Tonight I'll think and write and share more, but for now know that I am getting on my cowgirl (Wranglers and Cowgirl boots with a tucked in shirt) and conquering the dreams of my heart...living on a ranch, helping people, and striving for Sainthood. Whoever said Dreams can't or don't come true never met the God that has so totally captured my heart.
Pray for me as you all know: Life is full of peaches and cream and rocks and splinters. As I stretch into the women He wants me to be and I strive to be a mother to these girls, prayers and grace are the only way to go.
God Bless,
Tracie
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Day 1 - the infinite drive
So here I am safe in Wyoming, laughing, crying, focusing on breathing, creating oxygen to carbon dioxide, trusting God's great plan for me...and I've decided to start a blog because, well...I can! Hope you enjoy my thoughts living simply and rurally. PS the title of my blog is not entirely supposed to make sense. I was going for "Why O me?" "Wyoming" and "Me-ing" (the act of Tracie being). So after about 8.5 hours of driving across an entire state by myself, I've come up with some not so deep thoughts/lessons as follows:
Lesson number 1: Although you plan on driving a specific day, it would generally be a good idea to inform your future boss of the same plan so as to not arrive to an empty place. (Fortunately life has taught me to be rather self sufficient and God provided a willing future coworker to help me out).
Lesson number 2: Whoever said Nebraska was a drag to drive through has never experienced the endless windy plains when headed North in Wyoming.
Lesson number 3: Does parking between the welcome to Montana and Wyoming signs (about a truck lengths apart) constitute you being in Montana or Wyoming?
And now that all three lessons have been shared of this driving adventure, I shall share some fun facts. Wyoming has arguably the most number of historical sites in any state, or at least off of any highway (largest mineral bath, dinosaur bone site, signs pointing at rocks and stating the period of their formation, and multiple just pull over and read the sign of the history of this part of the land spots). I presume this is to prevent drivers from falling asleep, or to lure visitors to parts other than the famous Yellowstone National Park.
And now the big question...how am I as I embark on this new dream job of mine? Heh. I think I've officially gone over the top this time. I don't know if y'all knew this about me, but I am crazy. This is my official diagnosis. Who up and moves to a place they've never been? Oh wait...well shoot. For whatever reason, to be perfectly honest I'm finding myself much less brave, and yet content, the land is beautiful, the people (or the one I've met) super nice, and my senses cannot possibly be in working order, I'm in an official state of shock, exhaustion and high emotion, oh dear, not the best way to start a new job. I think a day of rest is going to be super good.
So now as I sit here not sure what to do with myself, please keep me in your prayers as once again I find myself in a land of middle of nowhere. (Ironic considering I swore to myself when I left middle of nowhere, CA that I would never again live in such a place)...God does have a sense of humor! Praise Him when He gives and takes!
God Bless,
Tracie
Lesson number 1: Although you plan on driving a specific day, it would generally be a good idea to inform your future boss of the same plan so as to not arrive to an empty place. (Fortunately life has taught me to be rather self sufficient and God provided a willing future coworker to help me out).
Lesson number 2: Whoever said Nebraska was a drag to drive through has never experienced the endless windy plains when headed North in Wyoming.
Lesson number 3: Does parking between the welcome to Montana and Wyoming signs (about a truck lengths apart) constitute you being in Montana or Wyoming?
And now that all three lessons have been shared of this driving adventure, I shall share some fun facts. Wyoming has arguably the most number of historical sites in any state, or at least off of any highway (largest mineral bath, dinosaur bone site, signs pointing at rocks and stating the period of their formation, and multiple just pull over and read the sign of the history of this part of the land spots). I presume this is to prevent drivers from falling asleep, or to lure visitors to parts other than the famous Yellowstone National Park.
And now the big question...how am I as I embark on this new dream job of mine? Heh. I think I've officially gone over the top this time. I don't know if y'all knew this about me, but I am crazy. This is my official diagnosis. Who up and moves to a place they've never been? Oh wait...well shoot. For whatever reason, to be perfectly honest I'm finding myself much less brave, and yet content, the land is beautiful, the people (or the one I've met) super nice, and my senses cannot possibly be in working order, I'm in an official state of shock, exhaustion and high emotion, oh dear, not the best way to start a new job. I think a day of rest is going to be super good.
So now as I sit here not sure what to do with myself, please keep me in your prayers as once again I find myself in a land of middle of nowhere. (Ironic considering I swore to myself when I left middle of nowhere, CA that I would never again live in such a place)...God does have a sense of humor! Praise Him when He gives and takes!
God Bless,
Tracie
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